Before we had children (so as long as 5 years ago), Ash and I found ourselves involved in a Dinner Club with some other couples. Not all of them had kids but most. (Initials used to protect the semi-innocent :) ) Ti and K had two kids, D and J had one, Ta and H had one… then there was us and one other couple. We went to dinner once a month and had a blast. Well, C and R entered the picture and she and I were pregnant at the same time. So we’re this group of people who have a history and lots in common.
That was your backstory. A couple weeks ago, D set up a zoo outing. And I noticed that C wasn’t there, which I found odd. Her son, P, goes to school with my kids and she’s pretty good friends with Ti. Anyway, I just assumed she was invited but couldn’t go because they were in GA, b/c that’s where her family is and they go on most weekends. Turns out that no, D just didn’t invite C. And man, was she ever pissed. Turns out D had been treating her pretty poorly for a while now. Well, I semi-brought it up at Girls’ Night (D was not there this time). And C shushed me because she didn’t tell Ti about it. I was kind of surprised. See, if I had an issue, I’d ask about it. Especially if there was seemingly no reason for C to have been left out.
This all got me thinking about the dynamic between groups of friends. I was especially tuned into this because every year for Halloween, Ti and K do a big thing at their house because they have a very kid-friendly neighbourhood. She makes a big dinner and has snacks and all and then the kids pile into a trailer pulled by a truck and we Trick-or-Treating. My problem is, that’s really irritating. Getting in the truck, walking to the house (which takes time depending on the age of your child), getting back into the trailer, driving 2-3 houses down… lather, rinse, repeat.
So I sort of blurted out, after my second beer on Saturday, that we might not go this year. And though I know Ti didn’t *really* care, the thing is that now, I’ve set into motion an entire… THING. Next time they set up a get-together, they’ll think twice about inviting me, because if I opted out of one thing, I may opt out again. I know they aren’t trying to be vicious, but I swear this is the mindset. And maybe something like that happened between D and C and that was why she was left off the Facebook invite.
I don’t know but I shouldn’t stress about it the way I do. But I kind of want to just take my kids around our neighbourhood and not worry about the big to-do. I don’t want to do anything to rock the boat but it appears this sort of thing always happens. How do I prevent this except by always saying yes, even when I don’t want to?