Never Enough

Ash likes to throw around the phrase – reminiscent of the James Bond film – “Sometimes… the world is not enough.” And I roll my eyes and go back to reading or whatever he’s interrupted. But you know, there’s some credence to this statement. Sometimes, it just isn’t enough, no matter what you “get”, you always want more. And I don’t just mean material things, though my first inclination is to think about money. I am planning – carefully – my next few summer paychecks, which are inflated due to the way pay gets distributed in these semesters. And after catching up on things and saving some, I’m still broke. And it’s just never enough.

We had an excellent weekend: pool with some friends, Mexican food, dog walking, lawn mowing,  nap time, playground, movies. It was over before I knew it and I wanted more time. Conversely, I was so happy for it to be a new week so I could get a break from the kids, much as I love them. The brief window of naps is never enough time to actually accomplish anything.

And sometimes I feel like a total heel because I’m over here with my paid off car and our big SUV and our four bedroom home and nice yard and quiet neighborhood and two healthy kids and the ability to pay all our bills and NO credit cards and think, God, what am I complaining about??

How hard is it to really be thankful for what you have? Perhaps this is just the product of American society. We want it bigger, better, we want more, super-sized, everything we can get our hands on. And as much as I do appreciate small things, I still find myself wanting more and overlooking the sweetest things that make life worth living: fireflies during my evening run, Isaac’s laughter, Elliot giving me random kisses, Ash remembering to ask about my day. These make me happy for the briefest of moments but they bridge the gaps between the moments of stress and the worrying, like a pearl necklace, they are the string between the “big things” that I, as an adult, must worry about day in and day out.

I found myself unnaturally at ease with money yesterday. I even had to pause and take note of how not worried I was at that exact second. If only I could do this with every little good thing in life, man, I’d be golden.


Random Tuesday – Better late than never edition


Well, after an entire morning of no internet, I am finally back. Now I am here – discombobulated but here – and ready to go comment on your random.

  • For starters, I came into my office after the long weekend and found I had no internet. After troubleshooting for an hour, I found out it’s the entire suite of offices on this floor, including our reading/writing center, which poses a bigger problem than me not being able to blog this post. But I am back now, at nearly 2:30.
  • My weekend was pretty darn amazing, though I had periods of time when I felt at a loss: didn’t want to watch TV, sleep, read, or anything. Had to really pull myself from the slump and do SOMEthing.
  • We went swimming in a friend’s pool and Elliot is such a baby! Good thing he starts swim lessons soon.
  • Oppositely, Isaac LOVED it. He tried swimming away, much to his dismay I wouldn’t let him just plunge underneath. Not yet.
  • We walked the dogs on Sunday morning and when we got home, we noticed that Zoey had a tick. Every season we might find one or two. We must have picked 45 total off all three dogs. ICK. Utterly disgusting. Fleas I don’t mind because, yeah, they bite but they don’t carry lyme disease. And yes, I realize it’s not THAT common but I have small children. I was VERY unhappy. But yesterday we saw no ticks on any of the dogs.
  • We watched Unstoppable on Saturday night. It was pretty lame, actually.
  • Elliot transitioned into the VPK room even though he doesn’t begin for real until August. This makes me both happy and nervous. Because OMG he’s getting old.

Ok, I know these are boring but my entire day has been rearranged. We rely way too much on the internet, you know! Oh and Man Candy is model Jesse Roberts. Thought he had the All-American boy look, you know? Enjoy!