Never Enough

Ash likes to throw around the phrase – reminiscent of the James Bond film – “Sometimes… the world is not enough.” And I roll my eyes and go back to reading or whatever he’s interrupted. But you know, there’s some credence to this statement. Sometimes, it just isn’t enough, no matter what you “get”, you always want more. And I don’t just mean material things, though my first inclination is to think about money. I am planning – carefully – my next few summer paychecks, which are inflated due to the way pay gets distributed in these semesters. And after catching up on things and saving some, I’m still broke. And it’s just never enough.

We had an excellent weekend: pool with some friends, Mexican food, dog walking, lawn mowing,  nap time, playground, movies. It was over before I knew it and I wanted more time. Conversely, I was so happy for it to be a new week so I could get a break from the kids, much as I love them. The brief window of naps is never enough time to actually accomplish anything.

And sometimes I feel like a total heel because I’m over here with my paid off car and our big SUV and our four bedroom home and nice yard and quiet neighborhood and two healthy kids and the ability to pay all our bills and NO credit cards and think, God, what am I complaining about??

How hard is it to really be thankful for what you have? Perhaps this is just the product of American society. We want it bigger, better, we want more, super-sized, everything we can get our hands on. And as much as I do appreciate small things, I still find myself wanting more and overlooking the sweetest things that make life worth living: fireflies during my evening run, Isaac’s laughter, Elliot giving me random kisses, Ash remembering to ask about my day. These make me happy for the briefest of moments but they bridge the gaps between the moments of stress and the worrying, like a pearl necklace, they are the string between the “big things” that I, as an adult, must worry about day in and day out.

I found myself unnaturally at ease with money yesterday. I even had to pause and take note of how not worried I was at that exact second. If only I could do this with every little good thing in life, man, I’d be golden.


Random Tuesday – Better late than never edition


Well, after an entire morning of no internet, I am finally back. Now I am here – discombobulated but here – and ready to go comment on your random.

  • For starters, I came into my office after the long weekend and found I had no internet. After troubleshooting for an hour, I found out it’s the entire suite of offices on this floor, including our reading/writing center, which poses a bigger problem than me not being able to blog this post. But I am back now, at nearly 2:30.
  • My weekend was pretty darn amazing, though I had periods of time when I felt at a loss: didn’t want to watch TV, sleep, read, or anything. Had to really pull myself from the slump and do SOMEthing.
  • We went swimming in a friend’s pool and Elliot is such a baby! Good thing he starts swim lessons soon.
  • Oppositely, Isaac LOVED it. He tried swimming away, much to his dismay I wouldn’t let him just plunge underneath. Not yet.
  • We walked the dogs on Sunday morning and when we got home, we noticed that Zoey had a tick. Every season we might find one or two. We must have picked 45 total off all three dogs. ICK. Utterly disgusting. Fleas I don’t mind because, yeah, they bite but they don’t carry lyme disease. And yes, I realize it’s not THAT common but I have small children. I was VERY unhappy. But yesterday we saw no ticks on any of the dogs.
  • We watched Unstoppable on Saturday night. It was pretty lame, actually.
  • Elliot transitioned into the VPK room even though he doesn’t begin for real until August. This makes me both happy and nervous. Because OMG he’s getting old.

Ok, I know these are boring but my entire day has been rearranged. We rely way too much on the internet, you know! Oh and Man Candy is model Jesse Roberts. Thought he had the All-American boy look, you know? Enjoy!


Happy List – 3 Day Weekend edition

Hey y’all, happy weekend! Here’s my list o’ happy: stuff that brought a slight bit of joy to my otherwise long and annoying week.

  • I may have mentioned this but Isaac doing great his first (half) week at the new daycare makes me extremely happy. I had to drop off some Tylenol for his teething and all the girls in the office were raving about how sweet he is. A mom just can’t hear that enough!
  • Lunch with my friend, Catherine. We had hibachi and chatted; it was exactly what my Friday needed.
  • Writing! I was able to write about 1000 words on the thing I am working on. I look at every change I make as progress and I changed a character’s name. That kind of made me feel productive.
  •  The 30 Day Song Challenge group on Facebook. I already like sharing music I like but the themed idea is pretty awesome.
  • Getting back into the groove of taking pictures. Some days, I don’t even pick up my camera because life is so hectic. When Ell and I went to the pool, I got some good shots.
  • And the last thing is Mamarzzi’s giveaway! She has a ton of free stuff she’s giving out, including Target gift cards. You should go and enter!

That’s all for now. Hope you guys have a great Memorial Day weekend!


Friday Confessional – Expletive-inducing edition

PhotobucketI confess... I am NOT in a good mood today. The alarm went off and Ash said he was going to sleep in a bit. I got up because Isaac was crying. And he was CRANKY. And then Ash still wasn’t up and it was getting late. And then he tells me he said he was going to sleep in for 2 hours. By that time, I had already gotten annoyed by him. And I left the house angry. Which I hate doing.

I confess… I left my wallet at home and had to go back for it.

I confess… I was nearly crying in the car listening to sob stories about all these tornadoes. It’s ridiculous. And it makes me feel both blessed and guilty.

I confess…I may have said “asshole” in front of my children.

I confess… last night at Elliot’s end of year party at the pool, I got thoroughly disgusted with one of the other moms. She is taller, thin and actually has a great figure. And she was all, “Oh, I wouldn’t want anyone to have to see me in a bathing suit.” Oh, shove off, wench.

I confess… I need a long nap, a hot bubble bath, and a deliciously naughty book to right this mood I am in.

Ok, there you have it. I’m off to grumble and maybe cause trouble on the internets. You know, pick fights in forums, etc. I do hope you all have a good three day weekend (if your job grants it) and meanwhile, I’ll try to turn this frown upside down.

My Book Boyfriend – Week 19 – Hiatus edition

Recently, I haven’t been reading much. I finished the latest in Kresley Cole’s series and I just haven’t wanted to spend time on reading. BUT, I did blow through Lauren Dane’s portion of Three to Tango entitled Dirty/Bad/Wrong, which I LOVE as a title.

In essence, Ava is returning to a place she thought she’d left behind for good. The product of a broken home and an alcoholic mother, she must go back to bury her mom and clear things up. When she goes back, she puts on her toughest exterior but she knows eventually she’ll run into Luca, her friend/lover of years past. And then there’s Angelo, with whom she was also involved. In fact, the three of them had a thing before she fled across the country to escape.

Once Ava is back in town, she’s staying at Luca’s and this passage explains what’s up:

Then they’d sort of clicked back into how they’d been before. And that, he thought, sweating because he’d begun to pace in the sun instead of sitting in the shaded chair, disconcerted him.

Only Angelo shared that space in Luca’s life, that sort of effortlessness of being with someone you trusted completely.

So you see, the two men kept seeing each other even after Ava left town. So I am totally picking both Luca and Angelo as my book boyfriends. (I’m also going minimalist with my dudes in terms of pics.)

The denim was so well used and faded it had gone white in some places. Threadbare glimpses of his thigh only added to the overall effect. No shoes. Just a pair of low-slung jeans, a slice of sun-kissed belly when he reached up to run a hand through that mass of golden hair. That downy trail of hair leading from his navel inside the waistband of his jeans led to places she’d never forget.

I didn’t get a real good image of Angelo but he has along hair that he usually ties up, he’s big because he played football, and he has Samoan tattoos.

(imagine long hair there.)

The conflict in the story comes in when Angelo doesn’t want to have to give up Ava but he wants it to be their threesome. Though he likes living (part-time) with Luca, their little reunion made him realize that this is what he wants, what he needs.

Problems arise when she walks in on the two of them together and though she’s clearly turned on by this, she also feel a little on the outside. And after having to deal with all the crap having to do with her mom, she just can’t handle it. Big penultimate scene:

Why are you both acting like you want me here when when it’s totally obvious you are just fine without me? It offends me to be lied to.”

 Tears had begun to run down her cheeks, so she wiped her face on Angelo’s loose shirttail when he wouldn’t let her free. Served him right.

Luca finally spoke, “Fine without you? Is that what you think? I’ve spent the last week thinking on a plan that could get us together somehow. All of us. I want you to stay, Ava. I want you to be with me every single day.”

Ava’s a lucky girl, having two wonderful men both wanting her. Though I still don’t think the logistics of a threesome IRL would work, I love reading them. :)

WWTK – Absolutes edition


Hosted by (the above and): Impulsive Addict, Seriously Shawn, and Janette. Go there!

This week’s questions make us look at how  neurotic we can all be. I mean, quirky. :)

{1} What must you do before you go to bed at night?

I’m prone to falling asleep on the couch then zombie-like walking to the bed and re-crashing. So really, I am not too keen on something hard and fast before bed. But if I am awake and planning bedtime, I have got to put lotion on my hands and feet.

{2} What is one thing you must snack on at the theater?
Nothing! I’m not paying those prices, dear God. BUT, I have been known, on occasion, to sneak in food and it’s usually sour worms.

{3} Before going on vacation what must you do?
I check and recheck all the door and make sure appliances are unplugged. I have this fear that things will randomly catch on fire.

{4} What is one thing you must do every day?
Hmm, well we all HAVE to pee and HAVE to sleep… I’m going to say listen to music at some point. I think a day without it would make me feel sad.

{5} Is there something you do that must be done in a particular order?

I have a particular way of doing dishes and unloading them. My husband who, bless his heart, tries hard to help, always does it wrong. I quietly just rearrange and go on with it, though it honestly makes me want to scream when it’s done “wrong”.

Random Tuesday – I promised classy pics edition


That’s right; you’re getting some seriously sexy and well-dressed Man Candy today. But first, let’s get to the random.

  • Since I was brought up Catholic, I didn’t really buy this whole rapture nonsense but my parents let me go to sleep-away camp with a friend when I was in 5th grade and they showed us a movie that was all about the rapture. And it scared the ever-loving hell out of me. For weeks I didn’t sleep well because I thought the end was near.
  • We saw Bridesmaids on Friday and it was indeed funny, though some of the humor was – to me – over the top. Plus, I got kind of fed up with just how much her life was sucking. It’s like I couldn’t buy into it. I did, however, like the Irish cop. Got some good character ideas for the book I’m working on.
  • The hubs and I installed Sims 3 this weekend and OMG, time suck. I may need to force myself to uninstall it because I am wasting a lot of time taking care of my family IN the game. I should be doing that in real life, you know?
  • Wheat Thins Toasted Crisps are AMAZING. Not even kidding.
  • I finished a book and then one portion of another anthology but I haven’t really wanted to read since then. This makes me sad. I guess we all go in cycles.
  • We have a place in town that’s like an old-fashioned soda shop and on weekends, they make their own candy! I am so going to take the kids there… one of these weekends.
  • Do you notice that weekends fly by and no matter how much you want to accomplish, only a fraction gets done? Just me then? Ok.
  • I’ve been wanting to make S’mores lately.  Do they count if we do it over our patio firepit?

And for those of you who wanted a guy who looks smokin’ hot IN clothes, I am featuring Alexander Skarssgard today. True Blood season 4 starts soon and Askars does the Viking Vampire Eric serious justice.

::Fans self:: And you’re welcome. Happy Tuesday, people.

Music Monday – Trying my hand at a new meme

I always read this one on Stacy’s site so I figured, since my weekend doesn’t have anything thrilling to report back on, I’d give this one a go. It’s also hosted by Lady Java. It’s a good week to start because there’s apparently no theme. So here goes with some songs I am diggin’ lately.

I wasn’t that keen on this song for a while but it really grew on me. Besides, I love Luke Bryan’s voice. Le sigh.

I don’t know that much about this James Otto fellow but this song is ridiculously addicting to my ears, apparently.

Randy Montana? Montana?? Come on dude. You don’t sound all that country so making your last name a western state, you’re really sort of pointing that out. ANYWAY, I still really like this song.

Ok so that’s what’s in my ears lately. I like finding new stuff to run to so I am off to check out other peoples’ stuff. Happy Monday!

Friday Confessional – Whilst I eat a donut…

PhotobucketOh, it’s that time again to let it all go, let a random (semi) anonymous audience know your deepest darkest weekly transgressions. That’s what the internet is for, right??

I confess… I really failed to censor myself this week a couple times, saying things that may have hurt other peoples’ feelings.

I confess… All week I wanted to shop. I planned all this stuff out for the money I’d get in today’s paycheck and now, admittedly, I kind of don’t feel like it. Sigh. It’s only really good when you’re compelled to go AND have the money.

I confess…We’re totally seeing Bridesmaids  today, even though I swore I wouldn’t. But peer pressure got the best of me.

I confess… Our building has little gnats all over and I feel like I am losing my mind every time one flies near me. DIE!

I confess… I actually didn’t foresee the crazy thing that happened in the Bones season finale. I guess I didn’t think the writers had it in them to do *that*. Big shocker for ol’ oblivious me over here.

I confess… I am about to go read all y’alls’ confessions and procrastinate until 11:30 when I head out. Have a good weekend!