Taper week is driving me insane

Ash warned me; he did. He said that people sometimes go a little nutty during taper week because though you’re glad to be running less, your metabolism is still running really high and you have an excess of energy. On top of that, you’re used to making time to run so without it, your brain cannot process the extra slot. Ain’t this the truth. I was like a caged animal yesterday. I wanted to cross-train – i.e. use the hang board – to tone up a little and expend this energy but I was in such a bad mood that I didn’t want to do anything. I ate two biscuits and some grits for dinner then I crawled in bed at nine o’clock. Nine! I felt like such a slacker but I was angry at the world and sort of felt like I’d hurt someone if I didn’t sequester myself away.

Honestly, my day was a lot like this. One thing could have set me off. I was a walking time bomb. But today, oh, how I do feel much better. I’m still worried about a lot of things but more equipped to process them. For example, I do indeed need surgery on my right hand to correct the carpal tunnel. Though it’s a relatively minor procedure, I think the word alone is bothering me. SURGERY. I’ve never gone under the knife and I don’t know how I feel about it. Though I base all pain on my experiences with childbirth, I just don’t know what to expect. I know that for at least two days, I won’t be able to do much. The home is my realm and relinquishing that control….kind of gives me the shakes. Ash will have to do so much more for me and though I bitch and moan for him to do more in general, giving it up in this manner just irks me. I’m not allowed to change diapers or do anything that may cause my incision to get infected (ew) so basically, I’ll have to just hang out. Just the thought of that makes me feel gloomy.

::Clap clap:: No more wallowing. It’s a waste of time. We tend to get so bogged down in the daily minutia that it becomes difficult to feel really good about all the wonderful things we actually do have, you know? I found myself bitching about some really stupid things yesterday and the voice in the back of my head kept saying. “That’s not true and you know it.” I know if I keep thinking so negatively, it will really affect my life so with that, I’m stopping.

With this weird couple weeks before my half-marathon I am trying to focus on me and the other aspects of who I am aside from running. Also, I am treating myself to some indulgences. I just ate a big cheeseburger and I got a lemon blueberry cupcake that was like OMG. I didn’t know you could package an orgasm but this place somehow managed it. :)

I feel like I’ve learned a lot about myself from this whole running thing. Once the race is over, it’ll be weird to run on my own terms and not for some goal, though I foresee myself finding other races to do so that there IS an actual reason other than weight loss. But by having to fit it into my life, I’ve also learned how to appreciate everything more, like my husband and children. I know it sounds cheesy but running made me a better person. Ha ha.

Ok, enough sappiness.



My Book Boyfriend – Week 2

The rules are simple for this meme: pick a boy from a romance novel you’ve read, give us his stats, a pic, and a quote.

This week, I’ve chosen Andrew Copeland – or Cope – from Lauren Dane’s Inside Out. I love Dane’s men so much. A lot of them are very, uh, experienced so the conflict comes in when the girl the guy really wants has to deal with all his former lovers around town. Of course, the guy is always faithful and always magnificent.

Stats: Little over 6 ft, black hair, piercing blue eyes and a ginormous dragon tattoo on his back. Oh, did I forget the nipple ring? Yeah, that too.

Cope is sexy because a.) he’s been pining for Ella for a year and he finds all these new things to like about her. Also? He has the reputation of being sort of a player but he’s so much more: a lover of poetry and very crafty with his hands. He works on his house all the time but none of his family ever realized how talented he is so his wonderful character traits get sort of forgotten. Of course, his Ella sees this. :)

Here’s how I pictured him:

Maybe not in so much leather but otherwise, that way. And here are some tat shots that my imagination figures are accurate:

Dane’s men are so sexy but also, they are flawed. Cope was definitely unsure of himself. Here’s a quote:

So you get this thing that’s like the best kind of high ever, this thing that fills you up, makes you whole and fuels you. You never expected it, you watched your friends find it, but what it looks like, no matter how good it looks from the outside, you can’t understand just what it feels like to have it yourself. You get used to that. Find a rhythm that’s totally natural. She fits me; I fit her.

He and Ella communicate via letter (in the same town!) a lot and he goes on to write her something to accompany a sketch he did of her:

This is what I see. This is what I feel. This is what I want to feel every day for the rest of my life, and you’re the only one who can make me this way. Let me love you, and I promise you all of me.”

And with that, I die.