Random Tuesday OR the I’m outta my mind edition


  • I used to rely on lists. I had lists everywhere. All over my desk at work, on the kitchen counter at home and even on sticky notes I’d attach to things like my wallet, phone and ipod. And yet, I have somehow gotten out of the habit. Now my brain is a mish-mash of all the junk I can’t seem to get down on paper. (And also, shouldn’t I be making said list RIGHT NOW instead of blogging??)
  • The weather here has been actually cool lately. I can’t wait for this knee to heal up so I can run again. I know it sounds crazy to want to run!
  • I need a good piece of fiction to read that’s NOT vampires. I’m starting to feel guilty. I’m reading two books at once and they’re both of the blood-sucker variety.
  • With the advent of this cool weather, I am getting excited to start following New England Fall foliage websites. Just the thought of being in a place where the leaves change color and the air begins to smell like wood burning and Autumn makes my heart ache with longing.
  • I’ve decided that I really don’t like sesame seed bagels. Or peas.
  • I think our neighbour died. I don’t see her around anymore, the tomato plants are dying, and her husband suddenly requested cat traps from the city. It was apparently her idea to feed them, not his. The problem now is that he’s not baiting them so the cats are laying right next to empty said traps. But if she really did die (or maybe he ate her!) then I’d feel bad calling the city to investigate the traps. What a conundrum.
  • I started watching the British TV show Torchwood on Netflix. It’s not that good but is filled with slashy goodness. And James Marsters.
  • 24 days until Bones season 6 premier! Woot!

That’s all for now. Got a ton of work to do any even less time to do it in. Over and out.

The weekend I didn’t sit home like a loser

To my credit, I have two children so sitting home is par for the course. But anyway, this weekend was full of exciting things. For one, my sister and her boyfriend got into town around 7 on Friday. She and I went to the store for last minute items for Elliot’s birthday party and then they kindly stayed home while Ash and I got to go to a movie. It was so freeing to leave the house – at night! – and go out. We saw Inception – finally – and ate ice cream. We sat together and watched a movie that made us glad we had each other. Then we drove home at 1 in the morning, which was rather calming and peaceful. I haven’t done that in a long long time.

On Saturday, I woke up feeling like battered crap: headache, achey body, pain in my side. I realized almost instantly that I had a blocked milk duct that was turning into mastitis. I’ve had it before so I called up Urgent Care, made an afternoon appointment, and popped some ibuprofen to pretend like I felt well enough to get ready for Ell’s party. Which ended up being a success. The weather was really nice – not too hot and it was windy – so the playground was the perfect venue. Enough people came to make it enjoyable but not too crazy. Elliot had fun on the playground, got great presents, and everyone seemed to have a good time. Then we all napped in the afternoon before dinner. I so rarely get a nap that it basically made my entire day

The six of us went to Shula’s 347 at the Hotel Duval, where my parents stayed. For one, it was awesome to go out to eat without the kids. (A couple of my former students babysat). And for two, I had the best Tom Collins ever. Granted, they served it in a short glass and traditionally, Tom Collins come in a tall, thin glass, like so. But it was worth it. Food was excellent! I had the steak special thing and their smashed potatoes, which rock. My mother suggested we head to their rooftop bar afterward, which was also awesome. Btw, there are a lot of hot guys who work up there. Take note, single Tallahassee folks. ;) We hung out on the balcony a while then found some seating. They have tables and couches set up with huge recessed fans above. We had a few more drinks and watched the lights of Tallahassee through a light misting of rain. It was all very swanky and Ash and I noted that it might be a good place to take people who come into town to visit or we may go there on our anniversary. I was just glad to be out of my house!

I stayed up with Alyson and Justin after Ash went to bed (since he had to run in the morning) and that was interesting. Justin has a… different sort of past so he has great stories about weird and crazy people. Sunday morning, after Ash had gotten up at 5 to go run 20 miles, I got up to start cleaning my house, which was in complete shambles from so many people being around and all the damn toys everywhere. I think we own every single piece of plastic based on Toy Story that exists. My parents came over, took us to breakfast, then left around 11.

The weekend was pretty hectic but I enjoyed every blasted minute of it, even with my slight illness and the insanity of family in town. Sometimes you have to just let that all wash over you instead of freak out about it.  I came out on the other side just fine. No worse for wear. Though, Elliot’s officially three now and that does shock me just a little. Like, when did I become the mom of a three year old? I don’t feel nearly old enough yet. Alas, I better just start accepting that. I’m a thirty-one year old mother of two. Sigh.

Sincerely, me

Dear weather,

Stop fucking raining every afternoon. I need to mow my lawn and I have a brief window of time between 5:15 PM and sundown to accomplish this. Thanks much.

Dear lawn dude in front of me in line at Publix,

Nice tribal tats. No, I promise I wasn’t staring. Ok, maybe just a little.

Dear Starbucks,

All your breakfast sandwiches (with the exception of the sausage, egg and cheese one) taste like bits of cardboard wrapped inside cardboard, sprinkled with salt and pepper. And Ricky the drive-thru guy? Stop asking me if I want to try said “tasty breakfast sandwiches”. The answer is no.

Dear parents of bully in Elliot’s class,

Love your child more. Be less aggressive. Work on the no biting thing. Stop being a couple of a-holes, which is apparently why your child beats up on mine.

Dear Joss Whedon,

Thank you for Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have thoroughly enjoyed what of it I have seen. I also think Spike needs a hug.

Dear freshmen who own cars,

Stop driving like maniacs.  I have nearly gotten killed a handful of times this week and I don’t need that kind of stress. I have enough with two kids, thank you very much.

Dear piece of trash that fell from the can yesterday,

When I bent over to retrieve you in all your waxy deli glory, I bashed the top of my skull on the underside of my kitchen counter and that fucking hurt. I blame you, little transparent sheet of paper who couldn’t stay put. Thanks for the headache.

Dear authors S. Kenyon, J.R. Ward, and J. Frost,

Thank you for creating such wondrous works of fiction, some trashy, some not as much. But all keep me sane in a world where my days are jam-packed with work, teaching, snot-nosed kids, cooking, laundry, cleaning, dogs, and you know, responsibility.

Flip-turned upside down

The first week is always slammed, insane, all-out nuts around here. This week has proven to be… not as bad as the past in terms of lost students, big ass problems or flat out break downs. I met with my students on Monday and they’re totally made of awesome. So far anyway. As the semester wears on, even a great class will start to slow down and trudge through the work. We shall see how things go but I’m trying to stay positive.

Last night Ash and I had a long chat about being positive. Mostly as it pertains to my injury. At first, when my knee began to hurt and I was dealing with the harsh reality of not running, I was devastated. My devastation manifested on many different levels. I found myself more cranky and lacking any sort of outlet for pent up rage. Then I sort of felt depressed that I wasn’t actively doing anything and then I felt fat. I was reluctant to even eat. All of these reactions are not what I ought to have done, of course. But it felt so awful to be doing NOTHING. Meanwhile, Ash is out there running 8-9 miles a day (not counting his long on Sunday) and I’m just sitting in bed watching Buffy. It makes me feel like such a loser, even though there’s not a whole lot I can do to make this knee heal any faster than it’s going to.

So I must accept things as they are. For instance, it’s about 3 days from Elliot’s birthday party and not one of those bastard kids from school has RSVP’d. Now, one of them I know won’t be there but the others… no excuse. We went to their snot-nosed kids’ birthday parties and – though I shouldn’t – I expect reciprocation. I’m learning to get over it but I cannot help feeling this way. If none of them show, we have plenty of other people coming who *actually* care about him. He’ll understand. If they show up with RSVP’ing, I’ma cutta bitch. I will cutchew!

I have taken all too long to write this. POST.

Let’s revisit this meme – Flickr stuff

Post a comment if you choose to do this on your blog. I reworked some of the questions to mix it up a bit. You don’t have to be a flickr user to do this meme, of course!

The rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

The questions that inspired the photos:  (I’m not giving the answers!)
1. What is your first name? (I used my blog title name)
2. What is your favorite comfort food?
3. What city do you live in?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite alcoholic drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What do you want most in life?
10. What is your guiltiest pleasure
11. One word to describe you.
12. Your mood right now.

The photos:

Continue reading

Fresh starts

I just forced myself to close all Firefox windows that didn’t have to do with work and/or teaching. (Except for wordpress, obvs.) It was difficult but the desire to watch/shop/read is way too overwhelming. Especially coming off the summer session where there are periods of intense activity and weeks of incredible boredom. Sure, there are projects to work on (and I do) but there’s nothing pressing. And I shouldn’t complain because come Monday, I’m going to be slammed. Students will be lost, and somehow end up seeking advice in my little alcove. Sure, I have the answers, but I am always amazed that they even find me back here.

I really do look forward to the new semester though, especially Fall. Everyone is so eager and full of hope and aspirations. I can’t help but feel similarly, with all the energy and anticipation the students bring.

With that said, I actually feel sort of blase about teaching. I am changing which strand I’ll use because maybe then I’ll be more interested. It’s a trick, really, because I know that switching means I’ll need to do more prep and actually read. Perhaps by forcing myself to do so I will learn something new and revive my desire to teach these youngins. Hopefully by choosing the multimedia strand we’ll be able to talk about more pop-culture stuff and that will be engaging. I’m trying to figure out how to incorporate vampires into my plans. Ha ha. Since they’re all popular now, I could get away with it. I know my kids would appreciate watching clips from shows anyway. And if that’s what will get them and keep them interested, so be it.

I have to work on my weekly plans and get them turned in. It’s all I can just to focus on this one Word document, this one class, this one week of plans. Must. Concentrate.

Updates – Random Tuesday edition


  • So Geico ended up giving me more than we thought for Ash’s car. This means we have a handful of options which is actually even more annoying. I just want to own two cars again. I know it sounds spoiled but I do! Carpooling is the pits.
  • I have Runner’s Knee. It SUCKS. I’m depressed because I need to rest it and depressed without running as an outlet for the depression. This week I have to get real shoes and I am not looking forward to shelling out that kind of money. I may just start running two miles and see how bad it hurts.
  • I’m done watching Bones. I feel at a loss now without any episodes left. It’s like, I feel so energized and excited when I know there’s more story left but I have to wait over thirty days for the next season. Netflix streaming and the ability to watch years’ worth of episodes really spoils your sense of “wait and see”, you know?
  • I am recreationally watching both Buffy and Angel. I’m mostly interested in knowing the basics, enough to chat with other people. I won’t lie: I really just want to see Buffy’s relationships with both Spike and Angel. But then again, I’m a total sap, apparently.
  • Elliot’s birthday is looming ever closer and I have done not one shred of planning. What do you serve three year olds to eat at the playground? Anybody?
  • Why is it that on some days, I am bored and without a lot of work to do and no one’s around to entertain me. And then when I have a shit ton of work to do, EVERYONE comes to bother me. What’s up with that?
  • Remember when I wrote about that girl who died? I find it very interesting that people keep writing things on her Facebook wall. it’s like the modern day/digital version of placing flowers in a grave. How very 21st century.

That’s all for now. I have a ton more to say, I’m sure, but it all escapes me right now. Besides, I have to go wrestle with a copy machine. And find some food…

On Death and the Future

Yesterday, I was running an errand on my lunch break. As I stepped from my car in the shopping center parking lot, I got a text from my friend and co-worker that there had been an accident at an intersection near our building on campus. Apparently a car hit a girl in a wheel chair; a witness said she had been studying English. I felt very sad for the situation, went about my business and then got back to my office and continued to do mundane things like file papers, calculate grades, answer emails. A thought occurred to me that it may have been one of the former TAs I had worked with here in the department. A small part of me hoped it was just some undergrad.

Around 3:30, another co-worker came into my office to tell me that the victim of the accident, who was pronounced dead at the hospital, had indeed been Jill, the girl we knew here. Though I didn’t know her as a friend, I worked with her for a few years and she’d been nothing but pleasant to me. In some ways, I had admired her; she worked through her MA and overcame a lot of difficulties being confined to that motorized wheelchair. Mostly, I was angry. How do you, driving on campus where the speed limit is about 25 miles per hour, miss a big ol’ wheelchair like that? Found out today that it was a girl who was involved in something Greek; she knows our former front desk guy. We wonder, was she texting? I know that’s a lot of conjecture and subliminal judging but I cannot help it. It’s situational evidence.

Even though I wasn’t close to Jill, I thought about it a lot yesterday. Earlier in the day I had watched an episode of Bones where Dr. Sweets was sitting on the train and the guy next to him had just found out he was cancer free. He was going to travel and see exotic things. Then a water main broke and the guy died, right there. And I kept wondering why Sweets was so upset since he didn’t even know the guy. But then it all made sense as my day progressed and that girl died. In death – in the brief moment that everything changes for a person – everyone else gets a glimpse of what could happen to them. And why we need to stop and just bask in the awesomeness that is life. I’m avoiding the phrases “be thankful” and “count your blessings” because we hear them so often that their meaning almost totally disintegrates with the mere utterance of the cliche. All too often we get so wrapped up in the day to day… the hour of driving every morning, the fact that we had to change our baby’s outfit for the third time, our three year old being obnoxious in public… that we’re blind to the fact that we’re alive and we have it pretty damn good.

I tend not to be a seize the day kind of person but man, shouldn’t I be? I sometimes go to bed feeling regretful at some of the things I didn’t do. This last week alone I felt bad about not uploading or printing pictures. I didn’t email a friend back. I failed to call my grandmother. I can’t guarantee I’m suddenly going to make time for this stuff. After all, there’s only so many hours in a day and though that sounds like just an excuse, it’s factually true. We get home at 5:30, I give Elliot a snack, feed the dogs, feed Isaac and then make dinner. Somewhere in there we manage to play with our children for maybe 30-45 minutes before Elliot gets bathed and put to bed. Soon after, Isaac goes down and one or both of us squeeze in a run. Maybe we play some Starcraft. Maybe Ash and I spend some time together before it’s too late and we’ll be exhausted in the morning. And then it begins all over again.

I’m not even sure how I want this post to end. I’m having lunch with a friend today and I am grateful. I’m having lunch tomorrow with my friend who is pregnant with twins, due in a few weeks… and I am grateful. I guess all I can really say is that I am going to try to be more appreciative and aware of the things I have. All of it. And just be happy.

Frantic, discombobulated; must be Tuesday


  • Damn, I cannot seem to blog on a regular basis anymore
  • This post is gonna jump around a lot
  • The other day after school, Elliot said he got to watch Lion King (it had rained all afternoon) and he went on an on about Simba’s daddy… and how he couldn’t wake up. He went to sleep and couldn’t wake up. Groan. How do you tackle that? I think I’ll wait a year… or ten.
  • Songs I recently added to my running playlist: Justin Timberlake – Sexyback,  Old Crow Medicine Show – Down South Blues, Prince – I wanna be your lover, Foreigner – Hot Blooded, and Tool – Prison Sex. I think it’s rather an eclectic mix. I haven’t really gotten anything new in a while but revisiting old stuff is nice
  • Speaking of running, I’m up to 16 miles a week. Though, to put this in perspective, Ash ran 16 miles on Sunday alone
  • Every time I run past this lake, I think how pretty it is and nice to be running alongside it. Until I smell the odorous stink of low tide and goose shit. Sometimes I even cross the street to avoid the stench
  • I am completely and totally over Elliot and diapers. He needs to figure out this potty training stuff pronto
  • I think my camera is on its last legs; the lens makes clicking sounds every time it opens. I do NOT have the money to buy one right now
  • Over the past two days I have made comments on friends’ blogs only to find an error page after I submitted them. It  may have been one of YOU; I apologize
  • Is it Fall yet? Sigh.
  • I would love some lemon sorbet RIGHT NOW
  • Forty four days until season 6 of Bones starts! >Does a dance<
  • Over and out: I have a literal ton of filing to do.

Same old, same old

I don’t like to force a post if I don’t have a lot to say. In fact, I do have much to say but cannot find the words to do so. Which is funny, considering my degree. In English.

In class today, my students presented their third paper, which was supposed to be about a song they consider to be their anthem. They had to choose one song, deconstruct it and then find a way to relate it to their life or who they are. The common theme amongst all their songs was about living life to its fullest and taking chances and opportunities. I found this somewhat amusing because my life has been in upheaval lately, what with the car issue and all the running – which I feel is taking up so much of our time – and all this making me feel so out of sorts. And then Ash said last night, “I’m ready for things to be not so hectic, get back to the way it was before. Almost boring.”

And I agreed. Though this isn’t living life to its fullest, is it? I feel like my life is already full. I have two wonderful children – whose names I love, by the way. I was just thinking this today – and a great husband (who is looking super sexy, might I add, with all this running. Wow.), a nice house, a good car, and all that other stuff that we all take for granted. And I need to appreciate that a lot more. I guess I kind of miss the way we had everything set up. Though set in our ways, it worked. I think we relied in our routines, even if that seems boring and staid.

Life is all peaks and valleys. We must accept this and take things as they come. I let the off-kilter blah of the car and vacation, etc affect me in ways I did not foresee. I’m recovering now but this week didn’t start off great; Isaac’s daycare couldn’t open tomorrow due to an injury so I had to have him here in the morning and took him home in the afternoon. Not how I saw my Monday playing out but today’s a lot better. Back and forth, up and down, to and fro. Life is like that. I must accept.