So there you have it

  • Like I said, this past weekend was completely nuts. I walk around my house and feel like my life has been broken up into a million pieces and there’s nowhere to begin putting it back together. There’s stuff everywhere and I’m off my schedule of cleaning and photo uploading and things just feel off-kilter
  • I’m reading a book that I don’t find very enjoyable and yet, I keep reading it, thinking it’s going to get better. God, I can’t wait until October when this book releases. Damn, that’s a long time
  • The  running is coming along well. I ran almost 4 miles back to back days but then I took two days off. Today I have to get back to it but honestly, I feel like there’s not enough time in the day to drop the kids off, work, go home, run, make dinner, and then take care of all those other little things. But I won’t stop running; I owe it to myself to keep going
  • On that note, I left the house yesterday a little after 6 to run, feeling completely overwhelmed and annoyed by our current carpooling situation. I was angry at Ash and mad at the circumstances. I ran three and a half miles – which I have only previously done in 44 minutes – in 36. I was feeling a hell of a lot better after that
  • I’m finding it hard to blog lately. It’s not that things aren’t happening or I don’t have insight… it’s just that I can’t even get the basic things done in my life, let alone spend time blogging. I am forcing this post…right now
  • Besides, when I have free time I am either watching Bones or, now, playing Starcraft II
  • I don’t want Isaac to hurry or anything but I would love for him to be about this age:
  • Tonight, it is my #1 goal to get pictures off my camera and catch up. I have been absolutely awful about it and I think it’s contributing to my general funk
  • I’ve sat on this entry ALL day. Time to publish

I seem to only write Random Tuesday posts

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  • I have had the most insane last couple of days, beginning with my husband totaling his 2001 Accord about 10 minutes before we were about to leave for a wedding four hours away.
  • My car, only 3 years old, managed to die while I was at the accident scene. Turns out I had a dead battery. Luckily we found this out while waiting for the tow truck and now halfway to Orlando.
  • We would have been on time to said wedding had it not been for a car on fire in Gainesville, which resulted in an hour long wait.
  • We got to the wedding at 7:30, just as the reception was beginning.
  • Shock Top turns out to be a rather awesome beer.
  • True Blood is just pissing me off. I want to watch it and at the same time, it’s just not as entertaining as I want it to be. I just find myself disinterested. But I don’t see myself not watching.
  • And here’s something totally random: Oh, Mario

Random Tuesday – Kidlet edition

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  • Saturday morning Elliot woke up at 5:15. Normally, he wakes at, oh, 7:30. Ash went in when Elliot requested the light on to play. We went back to sleep for ten minutes before he spazzed out about something or other and I had to get up. Saturday was therefore the longest. day. ever. (But both Ash and I got our runs out of the way before 9 AM)
  • The aforementioned bone that popped out was taken care of quickly at our health care’s Urgent Care center. The Doc said it’s fairly common for toddler to get “nursemaid’s elbow” and all he had to do was hold his arm at a 90 degree angle and pop that sucker back into place. Apparently as soon as it was back in, the Boy was back to normal. What a weird injury.
  • Here’s a video of a baby in a watermelon. The Un-Mom link to the watermelon cooler reminded me of this.
  • Isaac is wearing these socks today. Cute? Oh yeah.
  • On Thursday, I’m dropping the dogs off at the vet, packing up the car and loading up the chillens to drive down to Orlando for a wedding. The next day, we’re driving to Palm Beach to see my grandparents, who have yet to lay eyes on Isaac. Do I dread the driving? Yes. Do I dread the trip with two children? Oh HELL yes.
  • I turned on the TV this morning and Angel was on TBS. It came on one day two weeks ago and Angel was fighting this creepy demon creature. And Elliot wasn’t scared. No, he wanted to see the monster again. So this morning, when DB graced the screen with his sexy vampireness my son was prompted to ask for the scary monster. He wants to see a monster. Is that weird? Shouldn’t three year olds be freaked right the hell out? I guess he’s gonna be tough.

That’s it for now. Happy Tuesday!

malaise, ennui, validation

Though I have running, and comics, and paranormal romance, and Bones, I still feel as if I am going through the motions some days. The harried mornings when I have about 35 minutes to: feed Isaac, wake Elliot and get him into school clothes, take the dogs out and feed them, change Isaac – and he’ll inevitably upchuck some milk and we’ll have ANOTHER outfit change – and then get everyone in the car along with my school bag, breastpump, and let’s not forget my coffee and cereal bar… well, I feel like I’ve worked an entire day in half an hour.

On NPR this morning on Tell me more Michelle Martin was sitting with a group of women who were all mothers. They discussed various things but one of them was spawned from this one woman’s book about being a parent and not being happy. (Her name is Jennifer Senior, if you’re interested. Turns out she was on the Today Show the day after I started this post.) As if the children would “make” you happy, she argued that the more children that people have the more depressed they are, statistically. Her whole tagline was “I love my kids but I hate my life.” It would seem that the ladies being interviewed disagreed. Most women going into parenthood understand that not all aspects of parenting are going to please you. The diapers and spitting up and tantrums… none of that is that fun. None of that is even rewarding. But the fact that your kids make you laugh… the fact that as they grow, they become better people and people who you can talk to. It’s the reward in the long run that matters.

But something they brought up is how little credit parents get for raising good kids, kids that’ll some day be running our country… at least participating as upstanding citizens anyway. And in fact, there are times when parents seemed shunned for having kids, like at a restaurant when somebody looks over at your table because your kid might say something a little bit louder, a little less inside voice than that other diner would like. And you want to remind said patron that at one point they were a kid and were probably loud at restaurants too. Oh and to cut them some slack because kids are unpredictable at best.

I admit to seeking approval and validation when it comes to parenthood. Lord knows little kids can’t tell you how much they appreciate you and sometimes it’s grating, it’s unbearably sad. But it comes through in the times when Elliot will tell me an unsolicited “I love you” or reach out and grab my hand when we’re watching TV. like they say, it’s all worth it in the end.

This morning, daycare called and the class bully apparently pulled Elliot’s arm then pushed him down. Elliot has a tendency to cry like a pansy even if he’s not hurt so it’s hard to tell when it’s serious. This appears to be semi-serious. He cannot raise him arm without wailing. But it doesn’t seem to be broken or dislocated. Ash is going to get him now and hopefully get him into Urgent Care soon. (Our pediatrician had no appointments today.) It’s times like these where the plateau of parenting takes a turn – down, obviously – and we’re back to that roller coaster of ups and downs and corkscrews, loops, and even times where the ride malfunctions and stops; of course only when you’re upside down. And before you know it, the gears start turning again and your car begins to move, rendering you back to the start platform, back to normalcy.

New! Improved!

As I walked back from the Bellamy building in the late afternoon sun – the sweltering heat beating down upon me – I noticed two things: I wasn’t hardly breaking a sweat and I climbed a relatively steep campus hill without so much as a lick of effort. It is truly amazing what a mere 6 weeks of running can do to the human body.

I fully admit to having self esteem issues when it comes to my overall weight.  I used to cover up my hideous fat with over-sized clothes, mostly black for it is slimming, but I once got to a weight where I felt comfortable in more form-fitting tops.  Even sleeveless stuff. And then… I had kids. As any mom can tell you, your body is no longer the same once the little leech has taken up residence for 9-10 months then vacated the premises, leaving this deflated baby sack of fat and goo. Your body then rearranged its physiology and you’re not the same… ever again.

But the running, oh the running. The first week was hell. I mean, if there was something worse than hell, that’s really what it was. I gutted it out, those first horrific miles. I skipped the big hill and cut through a very flat stretch of sidewalk. I ran until I thought I’d pass out and then walk for 6-7 sidewalk cracks before pushing myself further. Weeks passed, I was consistent in running every other day, even if it was 95 degrees at 5 PM because that was the only window I could squeeze in the work-out. My ankles hurt, I experienced shin splints for the first time. I sweat. I ached. I got better.

Almost seven weeks later I can run 4 miles, which may not seem like a lot but considering my lack of workout for the past year and then some, well, it’s amazing. And the thing is, I haven’t once thought about quitting. I used to be the kind of person who would give up pretty easily. Ok, well, I guess I changed in my twenties: became more loyal and determined. I have carried this over to my running and have even found pleasure in the solitude, the gradual building up of my muscles and bones, my body shaping itself into some kind of form unlike my pudgy mid-twenties or my post-pregnancy self. This post makes me self-conscious of sounding like I put a lot of stock in appearance. For the most part, I don’t. But I need to be healthy and I want to be rid of this gut I was left with after the kids.

It may sound vain but I want to go someplace tropical in October 2011 and I’d love to feel comfortable in a bathing suit. Miles and miles to go.

Behold: the playlist

Over and over I keep going over the world we knew

OR, Tuesday Randomeness.

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***I effing HATE Tuesdays. The highlight of Tuesday? This meme. Otherwise, Tuesday is the stupidest day of the effing week. I began the day feeling annoyed. Hubs and I argued about something dumb. Elliot ignored my requests. Isaac spit up all over himself in the car.

***I have a ton of actual work to do for my class today and the fact that I have to do this just make me even more angry. The annoyance is perpetual.

***Every time I hear the Shaft theme song by Isaac Hayes, I think of this friend I used to have/know and he loved that 70s cheese. The bow-chicka-bow sounds really did it for him.

***Ran 3.5 miles yesterday and I feel awesome today. Must be doin’ something right.

***Things I want ASAP: a pedicure, a gigantic iced latte, new shirts, a massage, and a new book to read.

***This is by far one of the weirdest essays I have ever read. It’s about how Superman cannot procreate with Lois Lane. It’s rather frank so if you’re sensitive about such subjects. Don’t click.

***This week I feel like my life is going a million miles and hour and I’ve got nothing – nothing – for myself.  Help. S.O.S. Send help… and chocolate. And coffee. Ok and maybe some 3 Musketeers bars. Yummmm.

Eclipse review

On Saturday, at nine A.M., I met some friends to see Eclipse. I have never been to a movie that early in the morning and was surprised to see so many folks already there, considering the movie came out Tuesday night. Wow, Twi-hards, calm it down there. I had to wonder how many of them had already seen it and were back for more Jacob Twilight fun. SO, onto the movie.

Let me preface by saying that I read the first book and then watched the movie right after. The movie itself was AWFUL but not a bad rendition of said book. But the acting was horrific, pacing was flawed, and it didn’t really entertain. Now, New Moon was better but not great, higher budget, and the actors were starting to come out of their shells. I have to say, three movies in and they’re finally getting on track.

The acting is much better now; Pattinson and Stewart finally “click” and she’s not so BLAH. Even Taylor Lautner has improved. I really didn’t think much of his performance in anything else and I am sure half the viewers didn’t even pay it much attention since they were too busy slavering over his finely toned abdominals. And boy, are they ever toned. Don’t care much for his overall but the abs, oh the abs.

::Snap snap:: moving on! As a whole, the movie flowed way better than the other two and covered almost all the book material. They didn’t have to leave anything out that couldn’t have stood to have been left out. The action scenes balanced well with the exposition and plot building. They managed to weave in some Cullen background stories rather seamlessly and the final fight scene was well done and to the point. The only complaint I had, as well as a lot of people, was the character Riley. He was in the book but relatively useless until the end. I figure they had to build him and make him important for the people who didn’t read the books. It also helped to validate the new vampire army creation as a whole.

My only real problem was that seeing this story on the big screen, portrayed by real people, made me realize the flaws with the entire Twilight world. I mean, I still don’t understand the “love” between Bella and Edward. It appears to be mostly based on her obsession with his looks and his overwhelming need to protect her. THAT I get, after having read A LOT of vampire novels wherein we’re reminded that though the vamps may be domesticated/sophisticated to a degree, they’re still animals at heart and the need to protect their female overrides logical thought a lot of times. I can see how, then, Bella would fall harder for ol’ Ed because he’s willing to die for her safety. BUT, the realist in me cannot buy a relationship based on hurt/comfort, even though this is a major facet of a whole lot of stories. I want to believe they need more to go on than that.

I was never team Jacob but you have to admit: she actually spent quality time with him so his love for her is believable. And that’s why it sucks that he gets turned down. Even still, the way he pushes her gets really annoying. Luckily, by the fourth book, Jacob manages to redeem himself. ut let’s not give away the ending.

Overall, I think Eclipse deserves about 3 our of 5 stars. It was far more enjoyable than the other two movies and since it was my favorite book, I was willing to overlook some minor flubs.

ME. M.E. Mine Entity? My Excellence?

As per Sunday Scribblings

Little late but…

Essentially, I am: a writer, rock climber, mom, comic book dork, movie fan, eccentric in some ways, wife, traveler, cheese lover, art lover. I am into: batman, imagination, shiny things, Glam things, Hair metal, vampires, Fantasy Football, DIY projects, lattes, computers, running, gaming, Tweeting, trying to save enough money out of my paycheck to afford something other than bills, reading non-fiction, cleaning and cleaning accouterments, photography, Boston terriers, and sandwiches

The fact that it’s July already is slightly unnerving

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***Fourth of July weekend consisted of margaritas, steaks, Bones episodes, children who slept in, naps, fireworks in the driveway, kids who acted all wonky at the neighbours’ house, running, and RAIN.

***Since it’s July, I will at some point become interested in Christmas. I will feel compelled to listen to Christmas songs and begin to yearn for the holidays. I promise it will pass soon as August hits and we have heat indexes of 100+.

***I was pumping gas (I do not mean this metaphorically!) on Sunday afternoon and a guy about, oh, maybe 50-ish pulled up on a big -ol Harley. He got his gas and soon as he was pulling away he said to me, in a completely unsarcastic or creep-tastic way, “Nice tats.” I was kinda maybe a little bit smiling ear to ear. I love getting compliments like that! It also makes me want to get another tattoo, which I probably won’t ever do.

***Did a three miler on Sunday that had about five hills – rugged hills – and I felt awesome. Time to up mileage again because I have got to get rid of this baby weight. Also, I think I am going to try to run the Tallahassee half-marathon in February. Ash might run the marathon, depending on how he does in Chicago in October.

***The new hotness? : Chobani greek yogurt. That shit is good! It’s also always selling out at the store so I must not be the only one who would gladly eat this every day (and roll around in it – wait, what?)

***Holy shnikes, people. Have you seen the trailer for The Expendables? That movie is gonna rock if for no other reason than it has a gangload of awesome  stars and the action will kick ass. I think every now and then we should all watch movies like this and channel our inner warriors. You know you love it.

***Time for some aforementioned yogurt and some menial secretarial type work. Peace out, playas.