Isaac was born 12 days ago but it feels like a lot longer. I feel pretty damn good now, physically, and it’s amazing how that can change my attitude. Do you even know how much laundry I got done yesterday? A literal ton. Oh, but there’s more. Always more. The point is that it got done and I felt good about it. Isaac had a particularly inconsolable morning yesterday and then slept basically all afternoon. Too bad Elliot did not. He had gone to bed late on Saturday night because we decided to watch Finding Nemo as a family. In turn, he woke up at 9:45 on Sunday and because of this, there was no time, really, for a nap and it messed up our entire day. He was a downright pill of a toddler and I honestly considered at one point throwing him out in the yard, where it’s overgrown with God knows what and a minefield of dog crap. I just needed him out of my hair and I couldn’t bring myself to plunk him in front of the TV, even though he would have loved nothing more. We struggled through; I made spaghetti, Elliot went to bed, Ash went out in the yard to rock climb with the guys, and I folded laundry and rewarded myself with writing. Much deserved writing. It was, in a word, fabulous.
I do sort of feel like my channel is tuned to all baby – all the time. I try to find diversions: Sneezies on my iPod, music here and there, rereading the Midnight Breed series (I’m about to read #4 again with my favorite character, Rio. Grrr ). Ash has been playing Magic at home with some people lately and I want to play as well but something always holds me back. Usually exhaustion or the desire to do something selfishly for myself instead. Possibly once the newness of maternity leave wears off, I’ll be chomping at the bit for more human interaction – rather, adult interaction – and join them.
I don’t think the true weight of becoming the mother of two boys has really sunk in yet. And it probably won’t until Isaac starts hitting those “milestones” and I’ll remember how concerned I was when Elliot did or did not. And then it’ll all seem too real; the first time Isaac holds his own head up, or sits unassisted, or starts pulling up. And someday, he’ll be where Elliot is now and oh my, won’t our life be crazy then?? It’s more than I could ever ask for.