- Nursing a Coke Zero, knowing it’s artificial properties are probably bad for baby
- Just now beginning to feel the effects of the Spring pollen epidemic. Ah-choo
- Is dreaming of a simpler time
- Wanting to buy clothes for Elliot; the trendy expensive kind
- Almost 37 weeks pregnant
- Feeling apathetic
- Thinking she should take a walk
- Ready for it to be warmer
March has been sort of, well, insane. In a lot of ways, I was thinking I would go into labor super early – like, 35 weeks – but I am now almost 37 (on Wednesday) and things are looking just fine. But between an illness a couple weeks ago – which, btw, SUCKS when you can’t take a single damn thing – and class and work and Elliot, etc, I haven’t really SEEN this month.
However, this past weekend was really really nice. Friday was date day so Ash and I went for Mexican, of course, and then to see The Bounty Hunter, which wasn’t as funny as I thought it would be. My afternoon was relaxing and the evening even better because a box from my parents arrived. It had a birthday gift from Body shop with all these related scents; the exfoliating scrub, an oil, and a little baby sponge. As well, there was a baby gift and a gift card for the new baby from my aunt. PLUS, the seven books in this series that I won on Ebay came. Sure, I just read them but I wanted to re-read. In some ways, these have helped keep me sane in the evenings when all I want to do is lay around and feel gigantic and pregnant.
Friday evening Elliot and I were driving out of the neighbourhood to pick up some dinner and I had a flashback sort of moment. Down the street lives the son of one of Ash’s former bosses. He’s a professional poker player, around our age, and has a girlfriend who recently moved in with him. The two of them were riding bikes. On my way back home, I saw them in the front yard tossing a football back and forth. And I thought to myself, that was me and Ash, years ago before Elliot. I had this realization, then, that I am about to become a mother of two children. TWO. I feel like I’m not old enough or something. I look in the mirror and I still see that early twenties girl who rides her bike on weekends and sometimes throws keggers on the deck and plays beer pong and spends countless hours enjoying my youth.
Saturday was my birthday and it was awesome. I made pancakes for breakfast and then Ash took Elliot out to run errands while I cleaned. Sure, that doesn’t sound all that nice on my own birthday but you must understand how much cleaning means to me. So that was nice and then Ash made lunch AND did the dishes. Ell went down for his nap and I mowed the lawn. Again, 36.5 weeks and working hard but you see, I actually really love mowing so it’s no biggie. I rested all afternoon and Ash watched Elliot. Around 5:30 we went to a new hibachi place in town and I must say, I think we liked it better than the tried and true Osaka, where we usually go. Ash said his filet was better and my shrimp definitely was. The only thing that worried us was that it was not very busy. Granted, Tallahassee had just had its annual spring festival so I am sure a lot of families were exhausted and not in the mood to eat out. I’m hoping that’s it; I liked it! We hit up the playground afterwards and it was semi-crowded but still really nice. The weather was beautiful and I sat on a bench watching the sun set over the park’s trees while Ash chased Elliot around.
I remember when I was a kid and I’d go to my friends’ houses for sleepovers. For the most part, they were always awesome good times. But I specifically remember that every day after a sleepover I would be in a particularly foul mood. I don’t know how to explain it but I noticed this trend early on in life. On Sunday, I was in a pretty bad mood, in general. I had a very short fuse for dealing with Elliot and I resented Ash for getting to go out, which he gets to do on Sundays and I am usually OK with it. But on days where I’m drowning from the get-go… UGH. I managed to recover the day alright; Elliot and I ran some errands and Ash was home in time to spend an hour or two with Elliot then put him to bed. I mostly laid around reading for the rest of the evening though.
All in all, a good weekend and I am one year older, perhaps wiser, and it’s a new week wherein I feel motivated to get stuff done, especially in regards to planning labor/Elliot back-up plans. Because who knows when that’ll all happen! The thing is, you just don’t. But you move forward with some kind of handhold on the future, hoping it will all turn out OK. And it will.
The Cold That Wouldn’t End drove me mad all week. I coughed, I sneezed, I worked in a fog. Between the cold and Baby Brain, I didn’t know which way was up and I got little accomplished. Since I felt like pummeled trash, I was remiss in cooking – basically- all week long. On Monday night, we picked up a pizza. On Tuesday, we went to Logan’s Roadhouse. Wednesday, we picked up Boston Market. Thursday… oh, that’s right, I spent Thursday evening in Triage.
Monday night, I woke with one of those horrifyingly painful leg cramps that pregnant women often get. I surprised myself by being so calm about it. I have had them before – with Elliot – so I knew it would subside quicker if I didn’t try to flex my leg or freak out or anything. The next day, my leg was still sore, which is pretty common. But on Thursday, the pain had ratcheted back up to cramp status and there’s no reason for that. SO, I decided it could be one of two things, from reading in my multitude of pregnancy books: either a pulled muscle or a blood clot. The latter being rather serious. The nurse at my doctor’s office, once I called, made it seem so and I ended up going in around 3:30.
I was there maybe only four and a half hours but it was… interesting. I got put into a private room within 5-10 minutes of checking in. They strapped me up to a fetal heart rate monitor and he was doing fine so I got to take it off after a bit. I lucked out that my doc was on call so he looked at my leg and went ahead and ordered an ultrasound for it. That was the bulk of my wait; the transport lady took a long time to come get me. The ultrasound tech was nice but she spent an amazing amount of time right behind my knee.
Turns out not to be a clot but I did have some slow blood flow back there. Doc told me to keep moving the leg and put lots of heat on it. Wasn’t much better on Friday but by Saturday it felt fine. Pregnancy ailments are weird like that. It could be something really serious – like impending labor – or it could be, you know, gas or something. You just don’t know! I don’t like all the uncertainty.
BUT, things are looking up this week so far. Four more weeks to go in this whole process and I am definitely ready. Ready to move on.
I’ve been meaning to review some things I have used lately and while I”m at it, I’ll include movies, etc. So, without further ado…
LUSH Geo-phyzz bath bomb – My mom was down in Palm Beach visiting my grandmother (who is recovering from a hip injury) and she texted me to ask if I wanted anything from Lush. If you don’t have one of these and you like hippie bath products, then you’re missing out. I told her I wanted something sea-salty and she came back with this bath bomb. These are some of the fun products they offer because some have hidden things in the middle or funky flower petals that slowly break apart and float in your water. This one had a very pleasant smell and the salts fell to the bottom of the tub and stuck around a while. I was very pleased with this product. If you find yourself on their site and you do like this stuff and want to online order, I suggest doing it now because they won’t ship some stuff once it gets warm.
My mom also picked up a sample of their Ambrosia Shaving Cream. I used this in the tub one night and was instantly turned onto it by smell alone. It’s a light citrusy smell, but also clean. The stuff doesn’t much foam up but it does create a thick layer to shave and it was really effective. Plus, it didn’t create any irritation, which I am prone to. If you have sensitive skin, this product is for you.
Publix had a buy one get one deal on this new-ish product called Vitatops so I bough them thinking they’d be good for Elliot’s breakfast. Sure enough, he liked them and it turns out, they’re pretty tasty. We’ve tried the Banana nut (just ok), Deep Chocolate (delish!), and the CranBran (Ell likes them anyway) flavors. They are stored frozen but thaw in half an hour on your countertop. But to be honest, 8-10 seconds in the microwave does them good.
St. Ives Oatmeal and Shea Butter Soothing lotion – Target has an amazing dollar rack for travel sized things and this is one I keep picking up for my purse/diaper bag/ the spot right by our keys on the counter. This lotion is awesome at actually healing dry skin and it smells really neutral. It’s a good clean smell that isn’t too feminine (meaning Ash could use it without whining). I’ve formed a habit of putting it on my hands and face right before I leave for work and I’ve definitely noticed a difference in my dryness factor. This lotion, for a buck, is a good deal. (Picture is normal size, not dollar trial size.)
Alice in Wonderland – Tim Burton, director
To be honest, I wasn’t pumped to see this but figured I would at some point. Our date day happened to fall between big movie openings so we went ahead and moseyed into this one, in the IMAX 3D theater, no less. They gave us different glasses than we had at Avatar but as we found out from this guy whose apparent sole job is to represent IMAX at the AMC theater, since Avatar was shot in 3D and Alice was filmed in 2D and then made into 3D, the polarization in the glasses is different.
So, the movie itself. Honestly? Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Especially based on some bad reviews I saw. Someone on a tumblr site I follow even wrote: “Sleeping> Alice in Wonderland.” I disagree, kind sir.
The characters were all truly fascinating and well-done; not cheesy. The Tweedles, highly under-used in other variations of the store, were probably one of my favorites. Each character had a unique and entertaining personality, including Alice, who was very well acted. I know a lot of people said they hated Depp as Hatter but he didn’t annoy me much. I forgot it even was Johnny Depp and just went with it. A main complaint was that he only slipped into the Irish accent a handful of times but I rationalize this as: he has episodes of normality – when he speaks with his real accent – and then moments when the madness hits and he speaks in a funky sort of lispy voice. I don’t know. Maybe I am a sucker but I bought it.
Crispin Glover was super creepy as the Red Queen’s right hand man, but then again, when is he NOT creepy? McFly was probably his only role where he was just dorky and not uber-creepy. I also really liked the card army of the Queen. They were exceptionally well-CG’d.
Some people were pissed that it wasn’t a straight remake of the Alice story but I appreciated the liberties they took with it. It was a fresh look at a timeless tale and it never failed to entertain me. I’m not saying it’s the best movie ever, but it was pretty damn good for my ten bucks. I recommend it if you like to watch movies that take you out of your everyday life and let you trip out for two hours.
On Wednesday, I’ll be 35 weeks into this journey and I think I’ve hit that point. The one where I’m ready, I’m pretty much over it, and I would really like to have my body back. Admittedly, this pregnancy has really not been that hard, nor is it now. I’m just done.
Friday night, after some, er, intimate time with the husband, I started to have these weird cramps that I thought could be preterm labor contractions. Nothing was timed or anything and I felt fine otherwise but I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about all the things I still hadn’t done, like raising the crib back up to newborn level, reinstalling the crib bumper, packing the hospital bag, etc. The more I thought about it, the more freaked out I became. After maybe 2 wide awake hours, I finally got to sleep and I woke Saturday feeling just fine. Well, except for the back pain. SO, that was a factor in my thinking that I will not make it to my due date.
Remember, Elliot came at 37.5 weeks. I have a fairly good chance of having this kid early as well. This means so many things in the upcoming weeks. I have to plan my April calendar for my class so that if anyone has to go in there and proctor stuff, they won’t be lost. Same goes for the students. There’s always so much up in the air when you come this close to delivery and I think I’m going a little batty. I’m ready to just kind of do nothing even though once Isaac is here, there’s anything BUT nothing to do. I can’t be one of the women who takes a week off before their due date to just relax. I can’t justify it. And besides, I can’t count on that due date anyway.
So here I am, feeling ridiculously close to labor and trying not to think about the impending pain, then the never-ending non-sleeping cycle and the whole newborn cuteness which is quickly eroded away by the fact that I don’t sleep… it’s just insane. PLUS, I really want to spend money right now. Which is totally unlike me. I mean, I feel like dropping hundreds of dollars. I don’t even know WHAT I want to buy. I just want to spend. Isn’t that weird? I’m going to old Navy tonight to find him a St. Patty’s Day shirt; maybe that’ll quell my desire to waste money.
I know I sound fairly crazy in this post but if you were this pregnant, you might feel that way too. Pregnancy makes you do weird things and I can’t account for them. But I sure could use some ice cream right about now…
This Spring Break week has flown by; possibly because I was actually busy and got a lot of things done. I completed a Very Large data compiling thing for my boss, which was tedious at best. I also took and edited pictures for a textbook that she is co-authoring. If it gets adopted by a program (such as ours, in another university) I may actually see some revenue from them. Who knows what will happen but it was a fun project anyway.
Today’s my half-day/movie date with Ash. It’s been ages since we actually did this. Two Fridays ago, he was out of town. Then the two Fridays before that, we were running around town trying to fax all this junk for our refinance. WHICH, btw, has been a huge pain in the ass.
One of the problems with big corporations (BOA, in this case) is that the right hand doesn’t always know what the left is doing. Sometimes they called Ash letting him know at what step in the process they were and what we still needed to send. Then other times, we’d call to make sure they got something and no one had any idea what we were talking about. Ash faxed some forms they requested last week but hadn’t heard form them so he emailed them pdf style to a woman by the deadline. They didn’t tell us anything so he called Thursday and they’d sent out stuff to the cancellation office! The woman he talked to – who was the lady he emailed it to – looked in her inbox and look! There was our stuff from last Sunday. Sigh. I am annoyed by it but very glad that Ash is handling the bulk of it. I have done a lot of those kinds of things in the past and am more than happy to hand this one off to him.
Had a doctor’s appointment yesterday and since my last one, two weeks ago, I actually haven’t gained any weight. This is the time when the baby adds the bulk of his weight so I was kind of worried but at the same time, thrilled that I wasn’t any bigger. He’s still on schedule and moving around like a tiny acrobat in there. I keep thinking about labor and all that and it’s so up in the air as to what will actually happen. You know how they say “God has a plan”? I kind of wish he could clue me in – just a little – on that. Like, will I be two weeks early? Will my water break like last time or will I start having contractions and labor at home for a while, cutting my hospital stay a little shorter? Will it be shorter, as they say second labors are? I just don’t like all the uncertainty!
Well, I have done relatively little this morning work-wise and since I have to go in one hour and ten minutes, I’d better get to it. If you’d like, check out my showroom. I’ve added another model. ;)
This weekend was super busy, between baby showers (not for me) and birthday get-togethers (also not for me) and general things, I felt pretty exhausted. Actually, I woke up on Sunday feeling… hung over. Which is odd since you know, pregnant women aren’t supposed to drink. And I didn’t. But that was the feeling: dizzy, tired, heavy headed. So i basically spent most of the morning laying in bed, not really able to sleep but in a kind of trance. All was well with the belly – he kept on moving – but the rest of me was a wreck.
Luckily, I was able to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get it together before Ash left to play cards. I utilized naptime well and then Elliot and I ran all around town: Starbucks, New Leaf, Tom Brown park. The only downside was that there appeared to be some Pit Bull owners convention going on and though these dogs looked all pedigreed and whatnot, the majority of Pit Bull owners are, well, sketchy characters. To see them all in one place, as much as I didn’t want to stereotype, really made it obvious. But me and the Boy had a good time regardless.
It’s Spring Break around here so I have plenty of alone/quiet time to work on things. It’s been nice so far. Long, leisurely lunches, time to get personal as well as work things done. Oh, and……. I finally won the cat war! Well, it’s starting anyway.
When I got home for lunch on Monday, I laid down to take a quick nap but I kept hearing this funky little mewing sound. I was pissed when I realized it was a cat so I stalked outside – in my socks – to find that leon County animal services *finally* set the trap I asked for and one of those stray kittens was in there. I mean, not a tiny kitten but not a full size cat. Initially, I did a freaking dance right there in my front yard. Then my pregnancy emotions took over and for a second, I felt kind of sad for the thing. He’s still one of “God’s creatures”. I went ahead and called them to let ’em know the trap had been filled, they could come get it. When I took my dogs out, I noticed that they had also set a trap right by the hole in my neighbours’ house where the cats have been living/breeding. I didn’t ask for that one but looks like the city saw that as such a violation of code that it deserved a trap too. That one was also occupied by a big ol’ cat, barely able to move around in there. SO, two down, a bunch/unknown number to go.
I honestly did spend most of the evening feeling bad for them because when I got home, they had not been picked up. But I think the truck came by before sundown because I didn’t hear them at night. I called this morning to double check because I really didn’t want to go look myself. Even though I don’t want their crap in my yard, I still felt a twinge of guilt when I looked into their eyes. But I have to do what’s necessary. if you want to point the finger, it’s my neighbours’ who did them in. If they had just been willing to own cats rather than feed nuisance ones, then we’d all be better off. Lazy asses.
I just want this phase to be over and to move on; to let my dogs outside and walk in my own yard without being pushed to the brinks of insanity by piles of feces left by animals not in my possession.
Although I have gotten A LOT done this week – been one of the busiest that I can remember – I have been making so many excuses for all the things I have yet to get around to. And I sort of feel like I need to stop, because I can’t do it ALL -I’m not SuperMom – and yet, I keep telling myself the reasons for not doing X and Y and I make myself feel bad. It’s a stupid, viscous cycle.
Yesterday was downright awful. Just a collection of tiny things that happened, creating one shit-tastic day. It started with my online class evals. I sort of already had an idea of who would say something. I had a guy all semester who NEVER knew where to post things. No one else had problems but that’s because they read the directions. Just this guy. But I had a feeling he was the type to bitch about it later. Personally, we should really let students do evals after their grades post. I cut that song of a bitch a lot of slack and once he saw his grade, I doubt my review would have been so negative.
Somewhere between that and class, I was just swamped. Couldn’t catch up if I wanted to. Then, 15 minutes before class, day care called to say Elliot ran into a door and hit his head, hard. They said he staggered and cried but seems ok. He didn’t pass out. But they wanted me to come take a look at him anyway. SO, I run down to my room and make some half-assed apology to 26 18 year-olds who couldn’t give a shit about me or my kid and they bemoaned the fact that they came “all the way” to class only to have it canceled. Honestly, they seem to have regretted their initial reaction; I got some emails later saying they hoped everything was ok. It was just a reminder that kids these days are so effing self-absorbed. Argh.
Ok, so I am trying to get up out of here and the tiny-ass screw that holds my glasses arm in place decided to come loose. THEN, I’m about four blocks away from work and guys in orange vests are tearing up an intersection, rerouting me about three blocks out of my way. Once to day care, Elliot seemed… OK. Shaken but ok. He wanted to come back with me so I agreed and we went back to my office. He managed to take a nap on the floor. But when he woke up, he was so on and off cranky and nice I couldn’t handle it and we had to leave. It was at this point I realized that I felt completely and utterly overwhelmed. For about 45 minutes, Elliot played in his room while I laid on his bed, just being blah.
I opted out of yoga. Ash and Ell still went to Boston Market like they normally do on Wednesdays and I got some time to recover. I took a bath and installed programs on my computer, since I have another hard drive in there and it’s been reinstalled with Windows 7. I really needed that time to regroup. The rest of the night was actually pleasant; Ash brought me a sandwich from Boston Market and I put a bunch of songs n my ipod.
So today, I feel like things can only get better. I had juice for breakfast instead of coffee and I’m going to gorge myself on Chinese for lunch. It might be freakin’ freezing outside – still – but this Thursday will be awesome!
The weekend was both stressful and nice at the same time. Since Ash was gone to Horsepens in Georgia, I was solo-parenting for a bit. Though my parents bailed me out for some of it. I picked Elliot up Friday afternoon and his teacher told me he didn’t eat his snack and was running a fever. For E not to eat, well, that’s pretty unheard of. He did feel really warm so I got him home and tried to get him to take some Motrin, which he drank about half the dose. I think he also managed to stomach some cheese before we headed to the grocery store. The boy seemed fine at this point and ate a healthy serving of popcorn chicken and mac and cheese. He went to bed fairly early and missed my parents’ arrival.
Saturday was my day to let them take over with him. And for the most part, they did. But there’s still a part of a mother that is on duty, no matter what. So when we went to breakfast (and again, he ate maybe a third of his meal) and then out shopping, I was still feeling like I wasn’t getting a break. But we ended up having a nice day all in all and went to Piggy’s BBQ. That palce is pretty good. For 8 bucks you get a lot of food and it’s not bad. It could be more of a sit down type place instead of a Boston Market line kind of thing but I loved the pulled pork plate, baked beans, mac and cornbread. Again, a meal where Elliot didn’t eat. And for him to refuse mac and cheese? That’s just… WEIRD.
My parents got up early Sunday morning and left and I was on my own with the Boy Who Won’t Eat. Except he did. We got bagels and he ate an entire cinnamon raisin bagel with cream cheese. And you can consider that the last substantial nourishment he got all day. I think he had 4 pieces of cheese and a small box of raisins and that’s IT. He and I had a pretty good day. Around 10 I took him to get his hair cut. The pic doesn’t do him justice; it was so long and annoying.
Since he was good for the stylist, I took him to the playground for a little while, which is probably his most favorite thing to do in the whole wide world. And it wore him out so he took a nice long nap, during which I read and took a nap and a shower. The afternoon was LONG and excruciating because he was good for a bit then wanted to watch TV but I didn’t want him to just zone out to Blue’s Clues so I actually had to entertain him but he would only be OK with that for so long. Ash said he would be home mid-day but since he wasn’t the one in charge, he didn’t really get home until 6. UGH.
But I was super thankful for him to be home. Things were back to normal. I think we got in bed by nine and didn’t get back out ’til this morning. I at least feel rested, though not motivated. And I have a literal ton of work to accomplish both today and tomorrow. And I really really really don’t want to. All I want to do is read and sit around, as bad as that is. I have about 7 weeks until I’m off for maternity leave so I’d better get my stuff done now, you know? But anyway, there you have my weekend. What did you do?