Stop the world, I’d like to get off please

I hate using the term “whirlwind” but it pretty much sums up what things have been like since about Thursday. Which, mind you, was our fourth anniversary. We didn’t do anything special because we’re doing the B&B thing on Saturday but let me tell you, we didn’t spend it doing anything at all enjoyable.

For one, that day at work seemed hectic. Got home from work and made dinner and Ash was just about to get ready for his flag football game when it happened. Elliot was chasing after Iggy and they went into the kitchen from the living room. (Sidenote, he was wearing socks; we have vinyl flooring.) We heard the cry so Ash got up to check. I hear him say something like, “hey buddy, you ok?” And then he said something like, “Elliot, what happened??” in a slightly more amped up tone. He carried him into the living room where I saw that the boy was doing the noiseless cry. Which, if you know anything about children is Very Bad. And then? Elliot passed out. Went limp in Ash’s arms, eyes closed. Though it seemed like a million years went by, I believe he was only out for maybe three seconds. I can still hear the way my voice sounded when I shrieked his name, scared to death when his body looked lifeless, if only for the slightest moment.

Our immediate reaction was to go straight to the ER. I grabbed wallets and sandals and keys and we got in, Ash holding Elliot in the backseat. And then, he came around and started acting ok. Not normal, but not crying and then he pointed out a slide on a playground. So we thought maybe he was ok. Turn around, go back home and I made a call to the pediatrician. The on-call nurse got right back to us and said because he lost consciousness he should be seen. Sigh. SO we did end up going to the emergency room. Check in time was 7:08 PM. Luckily, there were not many people in the waiting room. It’s not the waiting that bothers me; it’s the sick, swine flu carrying no-insurance having people lounging around in there that get to me. But since he’s only two, he was seen quickly.

The kid was acting totally fine about an hour in: running around and laughing and slightly delirious because it was past his bedtime. They gave him a CT and we waited some more. Back in the room, a woman kept coming in and using this phone. But she was just a patient and although she asked the first time if it was OK, I had an immense problem with her he chatting it up with someone and then saying, “Yeah, there’s just someone else in here” in that exasperated tone. WTF lady? Wtf?

Elliot’s CT came back normal – of course – but after talking to the doctor, I realized that he was right on the cusp of an injury that could have been awful. And I cannot imagine trying to sleep that night if we hadn’t gone. All I would think about is whether or not something was bleeding in his brain. I think we did the right thing by going in. Even though we were only in the ER a total of two and a half hours, it is something I don’t ever want to do again. And we’re lucky Elliot didn’t do something worse. We assume he hit his head; the sickening part is that neither of us actually saw it. Oh, and no more socks without tread.

*****

After all that, things just sort of spiraled in those tiny ways life tends to do. I got a hole in my only pair of jeans and it spread quickly, rendering them useless. I cannot afford new jeans right now. If I were like you and I had credit cards, then yes, I could go buy some. Buy we’re stubborn like that and refuse to rake up the credit.

I reassessed my finances and I am tight this week. It’s not a huge deal because I can eat at home and cut back on little things like Starbucks. But Elliot only has one jacket and it’s cold. And we still haven’t bought his Halloween costume.  And there’s still the jeans, though I found the pair I retired when I got too big with Elliot. They fit but when I sit I have to ubutton AND unzip them. When I stand, I can zip and use a hair band threaded through the loop. I wish I hadn’t bought contacts this paycheck but I thought I needed them. Turns out I still had one pair of each in there. I should have looked.

I also lost one of Elliot’s hats and a teddy bear in the course of our weekend outings. I HATE knowing I was that remiss in paying attention. It weighs upon my brain.

*****

Not everything has been bad. I got my Halloween decorations all set up and Elliot was cute and cuddly all weekend. The weather on Saturday was nice enough to open all the windows. The weather yesterday was too cold but we bundled up under “binkies” (as Elliot says) in the house and watched football. A friend came over from Jacksonville to watch the games too. I’m winning in Fantasy Football. Ash ran 12 miles on Sunday and bested his time. I took a long walk with the dogs.  My parents are coming on Friday. I shouldn’t always complain so much but it was really stressful there for a couple of days and I just felt like shutting down and shutting out the world. Though you know, once things get really down, they always swing back up. It’s all cyclical.