Grossness trifecta: accomplished


Zoey used to have a problem. She was the hardest to potty train and it took her the longest to stop randomly peeing in the house. Then she started taking a dump in the same place in the living room. I couldn’t hardly figure out what the magic secret was to avoiding this so we tried making sure she went outside alone – other dogs distracted her from doing her business – and that she went out multiple times before and after eating. I don’t know exactly how long this went on but throughout her 4 years of doggie life, she has had three or four episodes where this behaviour went on for a week at a time then magically stopped.

Within the last year, she’s been really good about whining when she needs to go out and we’ve avoided any issues. Then last night happened. I was in the bedroom reading (If you must know, it was Living Dead in Dallas) and Ash was on the computer. It was maybe 10:30. A stench suddenly wafted into the bedroom and as Ash and I sought the source, we realized it was stinking up the whole house and that Zoey had taken a massive dump… and eaten it. This is apparently common behaviour for this breed and I guarantee you any of the methods of “deterring” them from doing so do NOT work. (meat tenderizer, etc.) So, sigh, I cleaned it up. An hour later, we took them all out and put them to bed; they sleep in the kitchen. I fall asleep. A peaceful sleep, for once uninterrupted by back pain or other pregnancy symptoms. Until Ash nudges me to say that the dogs are whining. My response? Go see what the problem is! He just grunted and went back to sleep. But I could not. I had the image in my head of Zoey somehow strangling herself in her crate by her collar or something.

So I go out there, greeted by an even worse smell than before. Zoey had created the most disgusting mess I have ever seen or smelled. I kid you not; I have dealt with some nasty fluids since having a child but the combination of her puke, her food from dinner, and the revisitation of her recently ingested poop was the mother of all messes. In her crate. All over her blankets. And all over her. UGH.

Zoey was thrown into the bathtub where she waited until I could a.) throw away the fluid covered fleece blankets, b.) wipe out the chunks of half digested dog food, and c.) wipe down the crate, which still stunk to high heaven. I gave her a bath and brought her back to the kitchen, where I set her up behind a gate with a blanket and told her good night! I returned to bed with a massive headache and quite awake, considering I was passed out prior to this horrific event.

BUT, today’s weather makes up for all the crap I had to deal with last night. The weather channel website says it’s 51 but my Brookstone thermometer said 58. Of course, the reader is right outside the door by my kitchen so it’s probably warmer near the house. It feels really good though, to be cool and clean and see clear skies… oh, I just love Fall. Elliot is wearing new jeans and a cute collared shirt and he looks like a little man, I swear. Once they hit two, they’re on the road to looking like real people and it’s so… weird.

On my agenda today: grade papers, do something for a committee I’m on, and work on my

4 thoughts on “Grossness trifecta: accomplished

  1. Yep, that kind of disgusting mess is commonplace in my parents’ house with their dog Scout. He is probably the most disgusting shit-eating dog ever.

    At least kids don’t do THAT. (right?)

  2. My sister, a veterinarian and Boston terrier owner, thinks that when dogs eat their poop, it’s either a behavioral problem, or they’re not getting the nutrients they need somehow. A nasty mess like the one you found in the crate might call for her to be checked out more closely, especially if she has another mess. Good luck – it sounds disgusting to have to deal with all of that.

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