Grossness trifecta: accomplished

Zoey used to have a problem. She was the hardest to potty train and it took her the longest to stop randomly peeing in the house. Then she started taking a dump in the same place in the living room. I couldn’t hardly figure out what the magic secret was to avoiding this so we tried making sure she went outside alone – other dogs distracted her from doing her business – and that she went out multiple times before and after eating. I don’t know exactly how long this went on but throughout her 4 years of doggie life, she has had three or four episodes where this behaviour went on for a week at a time then magically stopped.

Within the last year, she’s been really good about whining when she needs to go out and we’ve avoided any issues. Then last night happened. I was in the bedroom reading (If you must know, it was Living Dead in Dallas) and Ash was on the computer. It was maybe 10:30. A stench suddenly wafted into the bedroom and as Ash and I sought the source, we realized it was stinking up the whole house and that Zoey had taken a massive dump… and eaten it. This is apparently common behaviour for this breed and I guarantee you any of the methods of “deterring” them from doing so do NOT work. (meat tenderizer, etc.) So, sigh, I cleaned it up. An hour later, we took them all out and put them to bed; they sleep in the kitchen. I fall asleep. A peaceful sleep, for once uninterrupted by back pain or other pregnancy symptoms. Until Ash nudges me to say that the dogs are whining. My response? Go see what the problem is! He just grunted and went back to sleep. But I could not. I had the image in my head of Zoey somehow strangling herself in her crate by her collar or something.

So I go out there, greeted by an even worse smell than before. Zoey had created the most disgusting mess I have ever seen or smelled. I kid you not; I have dealt with some nasty fluids since having a child but the combination of her puke, her food from dinner, and the revisitation of her recently ingested poop was the mother of all messes. In her crate. All over her blankets. And all over her. UGH.

Zoey was thrown into the bathtub where she waited until I could a.) throw away the fluid covered fleece blankets, b.) wipe out the chunks of half digested dog food, and c.) wipe down the crate, which still stunk to high heaven. I gave her a bath and brought her back to the kitchen, where I set her up behind a gate with a blanket and told her good night! I returned to bed with a massive headache and quite awake, considering I was passed out prior to this horrific event.

BUT, today’s weather makes up for all the crap I had to deal with last night. The weather channel website says it’s 51 but my Brookstone thermometer said 58. Of course, the reader is right outside the door by my kitchen so it’s probably warmer near the house. It feels really good though, to be cool and clean and see clear skies… oh, I just love Fall. Elliot is wearing new jeans and a cute collared shirt and he looks like a little man, I swear. Once they hit two, they’re on the road to looking like real people and it’s so… weird.

On my agenda today: grade papers, do something for a committee I’m on, and work on my

Really, no one’s reading

I don’t know if I’ll do the scavenger hunt after all. Though I got some interesting suggestions, I was fully expecting more comments. I apologize for being such a bad blogger. And I hate blogging about blogging in this manner; all sad and pathetic and woe is me. I didn’t think I’d ever reach a point where I’d honestly say, “Should I continue to blog?” The thing is, I have always kept a journal. This is an extension of it and I enjoy doing it regardless. Maybe  I got all caught up in the fact that other people read it too so there was a bigger reason to make it, well, good. So I don’t know. That’s the answer. It’s difficult to keep up with all of this with the rest of my life.

I read All and Sundry all the time. I used to read it every day but I notice that she no longer has the time to update religiously either. Granted, I don’t have two children – yet – but I think I see now why it’s so difficult. Especially working full time. Or if you want to make actual meals and spend time with your spouse and work out and watch TV, for the love of Pete. (What’s up with that phrase anyway? Do we capitalize Pete? Who IS Pete? … I have a friend named Pete.)

Life is so busy and when it isn’t, I don’t squeeze in extra activities; I rest. It sounds cheesy when my mother says, “listen to your body” but she’s right. I will be 11 weeks on Thursday and I have to still be careful. I feel alright today but I still get tired easily and the nausea comes and goes.

This weather helps immensely though. 78 and only 31% humidity today. I always feel more motivated when it’s not sweltering outside. However, I’ll admit that our summer was not bad at all this year. But I am definitely ready for it to be flat out Fall. In fact, once October first comes around, I’m breaking out the decorations, both Fall and Halloween.

But to get back to the whole blogging thing; I’ll be around. I just need to evaluate what is important and focus. I think that’s the key to any good site and getting/keeping followers. Only time will tell…

Our handy dandy… notebook!

As far as I can tell, most kids Elliot’s age are capable of sitting through a twenty two minute cartoon. Most kids this age that I personally know, spend way more time glued to the TV. While I do not condone this, (I mean, for my kid. I certainly spent a good amount of time watch TV as a kid. Admittedly, though, my mother stayed home with me my first four years so we watched it together.) there is a very small side of me that wishes that Elliot would actually do this.

Finally, he has become interested in a show. And to be specific, Blue’s Clues. I am  kind of proud he chose that one because I actually like it. In fact, I can sit through an episode without feeling all, “Why the hell am I watching this baby program?” And to tell the truth, I have fun watching it too. He’s not exactly sitting still for the duration – five minutes here and there – but he’s more intent on it. And let me tell you, when it’s Mail Time, he will stop what he’s doing, give me boob-eyes (wide eyed) and start dancing for the song. Yesterday, he even crawled into my lap and sat for the last ten minutes of an episode. (Thank you, Netflix, for the ability to stream them directly and for making it easy to do so through ym Xbox 360 so we can do this on the couch. Supreme laziness win!)

Elliot rarely wants to cuddle like that because he’s always on the go. He’s loving, sure, he’ll give hugs all the time but he’s not good at just sitting or laying with you on the couch. I honestly can’t wait ’til the day he wants to take a nap with us. That’s going to be magical!

So, speaking of children, let’s move on to the one growing in my lower regions. I hate when people say “in my belly” because really? It doesn’t grow there, genius. Anyway, so yes, this one, well, it wants salty things ALL DAY LONG. It’s becoming tiresome being a slave to its desires. Sure, you could say mind over matter but once a request is submitted, I am unable to change its mind. Cheeseburger? Must have. Soup? Forget that garbage, eat some french fries.

Today, however, is a pretty bad one. I can’t get out of this fog and all I want to do is go home and sleep. Which I already did between 10 and 12. I told myself I should go back to work but honestly, I am not getting anything done because I am just so blah.

I felt bad for not finishing up this one book I borrowed from a guy in the department so I read it in an hour, because he sent an email asking if I was done. I found this one line to really strike a chord.

“Laetitia suggested that illness is a way the body closes in and shelters itself from chaos.” p.148, Carnet de Voyages, Craig Thompson

I don’t know; maybe that’s true. I usually start to feel very internal when I am not feeling well. Last night, I think Ash and I said maybe ten words to each other because I got home at six after Elliot’s Open House at daycare and Ash was outside climbing. He came inside in time to put Elliot to bed and by that time, I was DONE. I laid down in bed at 8, woke at 9:30 when Ash prompted me to eat some dinner. I had cereal. I went back to bed. Around 11, he came to bed and asked if I was ok and I can barely remember squeeking out, “No” and falling back to sleep.

He has a late football game this evening and it’s my goal to be awake when he returns. But 10:15 is probably stretching my limitations. I am just too exhausted to stay up.

For now, I have just come into possession of Living Dead in Dallas so, um, yeah, you know what I’ll be doing. Woot; vampires!

Scavenger Hunt – your help needed!

Ok guys, let’s liven up this blog a little and play a game. If you list things I have to track down, I will find ways to take creative pictures of them. Nothing too artsy but think of it as a scavenger hunt. I am psyched to do this because I haven’t taken a lot of pictures lately.

I’ll leave this open until Friday by Noon, EST, and then I will post everything.

Thanks for playing!

The do-nothing weekend, musings

We did so little *actual* stuff this weekend that I can barely remember. But by god, how wonderful is it to sometimes stop the insane spinning of your on-the-go life and just do little to nothing? It was… awesome. Admittedly, we did do SOME things: I bought… groceries! And Ash bought… new running shoes! But for the most part, we hung close to the house.

I was bad on Friday: my friend, Pete, was sitting in my office around 10:15 AM and mentioned that I ought to join him and Catherine at Panera later in the day. I hemmed and hawed and complained about how I had to take my students to the library and oh, woe is me, all I want to do is go home and sleep for, like, a million hours. So I did the library thing and left and had some yummy food. Admittedly, I never did take a nap but I got to rest. Anymore, seems like a 5-10 minute rest can really help. My body is tired, I feel worn out. I am ready for this trimester to lapse into the second.

I understand that all these pregnancy things are merely phases but of course, while in said phases, they seem unending, pain multiplied by ten and stretched out before you like eternity. And don’t even get me started on the emotions. I am a wreck:

I was prompted to think about Dothan, Alabama. I was on the couch in a rare moment of Sunday silence; right after the 4:30 football games ended and Elliot had just gone to bed, Ash was in on the computer. I sat in the living room in darkness – the sun still up but hushed by so many trees out front – and I realized that I will probably never have another reason to return to Dothan, Alabama.

Both of my paternal grandparents were born and raised in and around Dothan. They moved away to start their family but moved back when I was eight years old. So for most of my life – until two Christmases ago – I went there at least twice a year. The city itself is small, industrious with a background in cargo shipping and bra and condom manufacturing. It has a good mix of old and new; a lot of football players buy houses on the copious amounts of land; a lot of people hunt. My best memories are of Thanksgiving. My grandparents’ house on Church street will always symbolize family. It will always make me think of chicken and dumplings. I will always remember sharing pull out couches with my cousins and collecting pecans in our coat pockets.

Although I still have a lot of family there, I don’t know when I will go back. My father travels to the old house at least once a month to finalize all the post-death things involved. They re-did the kitchen and I have seen it, but I cannot visualize it anyway but how I saw it as a child. The grape trellis in the back of the vast yard is gone now, as are the old hunting dogs that belonged to their neighbours, something the kids looked forward to when we visited because none of us had a family pet.

I felt so sad, thinking about that. And how, in due time, I will no longer have a reason to go to North Palm Beach, where – thankfully – my other grandparents still live. This too shall pass, like the day to day nausea and the back pain and the headaches. Everything passes.

Up and down

Something  I have noticed about this week is how extreme it has been – I mean to say, I have been from one extreme to the other. One day I will feel exhausted and like I’m trapped in a world by myself, on the inside of myself, thinking about my pain. Some days, I am aware and I can do laundry and make a lasagna and get everyone taken care of before I pass out at 8:30 PM. Today, my stomach is ok and I don’t feel like hurling into the trashcan and I don’t have dreams about Saltines and Ginger ale. It probably means I’ll feel like crap tomorrow though.

So yes, as mentioned, the only things accomplished this week are a very tasty lasagna and I viewed the finale of More to Love. I wanted to write up an entire review but I don’t have it in me. Suffice to say I was happy with the guy’s choice and I hope they stay together. The main guy was boring all season but when he picked the girl, he acted like I had never seen him before. It was a magical transformation. Other than that, I am concentrating on taking things one day at a time.

Today, I am nine weeks. According to the calendar, the bean officially became a fetus on the 15th. Big strides.

Ash walked into the kitchen after work yesterday and began a sentence with, “I don’t want to blow your mind but…” And I thought he was going to flex his thighs again and brag about how much running has changed his body, the bastard. Because he knows how jealous I am of those three inches coming off his waist just from running three times a week and how I can’t exercise like that right now, etc… But he didn’t. The sentence ended, “… I think we should make Saturday morning a time to clean. I notice that because of the pregnancy you can’t really keep up and I feel like I ought to help.” My initial reaction was who stole my husband and who is this stranger?, because although Ash has a few chores – washing dishes if I cook and taking out the trash – he rarely, if ever, suggests cleaning. The days where he is motivated to tidy up are few and far between. So we’ll see how this goes. Don’t get me wrong: this is going to make my life much easier and I won’t feel all bogged down by the unfinished tasks. There’s so many things just lying around the house that irk me every single day. Maybe by Sunday, my house will look like we care about it… just a little.

It’s been a crappy rainy day and it’s finally time for me to head home. I foresee tea and an early bedtime.

Things I did and did not do this weekend

For one, I felt like crap for the majority of it. Oh pregnancy, you evil little beast. You bring forth such joy but are a pain in the ass during the process. So between stomach issues and the headache, I managed to eke out a fairly decent couple of days. My parents got into town around 8:45 Friday evening so we didn’t do much. Saturday morning my mom went with me to Target because I just had to wait until the very last second to buy a gift for my friend’s daughter’s second birthday… which was at 10 AM. I’m not usually the type to do that either. So it was rush rush, buy a present, run home in hopes Ash was up and ready – which he was not – quickly get in the car to go to the park and an hour later, we were home, Elliot was eating lunch and then napping.

I got some downtime in the afternoon before we went for an ealry dinner at Outback and then Ash and I left for the FSU game. Knowing the weather was looking pretty rainy, we stopped into three different stores in search of ponchos, with no luck. So we sucked it up and took our seats amongst the crowd in hopes the rain would hold off. Alas, we were not so lucky and Ash and I lasted the first half, drowning all the while. I was never so happy to go home and take a hot shower in all my life.

My mom made a really great breakfast Sunday morning consisting of: fried eggs, Bradley’s country sausage (medium; spicy!), wheat toast, and Lakeside yellow grits. It was… heavenly. My parents got on the road by 9:15 and in between that and football, I did some grocery shopping. I find I don’t appreciate it as much as usual because this pregnancy has made me all funky about food. I want it and I don’t. And I hate forcing myself to eat. So painful.

Watched football ALL day long – in all its glory – and went to bed happy, even with minor stomach gurgles.

I have to leave for the doctor in about 20 minutes; for my pointless orientation appointment. I had one just this last May and even though I miscarried, I feel fairly certain that they’re going to tell me all the same things all over again. I don’t even see a doctor. I don’t even pee in a cup! I give them 25 dollars and they “update” my records, which will say essentially the same things as before. Oh modern medicine.

So what did you you do or not do this weekend?

Pregnancy musings

It feels like Fall again this morning (Sunday did too): overcast and a cool breeze that invigorates me, in spite of the dreary. I am just thankful for cooler weather. I am also thankful that my stomach is feeling *slightly* better. So far, this pregnancy has been a lot rougher than Elliot’s. I haven’t gone to work a full day yet this week. Let’s see if I can make it to the end of today. I DO have a pumpkin cream cheese muffin with my name on it for later. Really, my big issue is eating more small meals instead of larger ones. I honestly don’t know what I can do about the late night stomach issues though. Seems like soon as it hits about 10 PM, my stomach begins flaring up, like there are rays of pain radiating out in every direction. Pregnancy is so unsexy and so depressing at times. It’s not like being sick; it’s something else wherein I don’t feel like myself and my body is not my own. Ugh. I know I ought to enjoy it though because I’m pretty sure this is the last time I’m going to do this.

In some ways, I am totally fine with that. pregnancy last time was really quite interesting – fascinating even – and I can’t say that there weren’t many weeks that I totally enjoyed it. I was in awe of the belly, once it grew into this big bulbous incubator and all that belly fat I was harboring had somehow disappeared amidst the stretched and straining skin of the baby’s refuge.  The baby kicks and twirls were always such a wonderful moment as well. It IS pretty amazing to be able to grow a life. I truly believe Ash when he says he would gladly do it if it were scientifically possible. I think more men than you’d think would want to experience such a thing. It’s awfully amazing.

It’s not all roses and butterflies though, as I mentioned. And I’m ready for this trimester to be over. The thing I don’t get is that some sites say 12 weeks ends it and some say 15. I am hoping for 12 because I need a reprieve. I am sick of feeling fine in the Am but by mid-day, my pants are a little tighter and by evening, all I want to do is lay around in yoga pants. /motivation fail.

But in other news: this weekend my parents are coming into town, we’re going to a birthday party and the FSU game and I have so very much to do before then. This is not really a good use of the publish button but there you have it.

Prayer, weekendries, etc…

I have to admit that in the last couple years of my life, I stopped consciously praying. It used to be that I said my childhood prayers (“Now I lay me down to sleep…”) every night before bed, while kneeling and my mom beside me. As I grew up, my mom suggested I say them in my head while laying in bed and I continued this for a very long time. I don’t know how long ago – maybe in the last decade – I would have problems falling asleep and I’d realize, or reason, that it was because I had forgotten to say my prayers. And once I did, I found sleep quickly.

Since having a baby and reappointing much needed brain matter towards all things child and household related, I have been passing out exhausted without even a flittering thought of my long time prayer ritual. I know that if I got sick, I would offer sacrifices up to the Lord if only I could feel better – as I found myself doing last week during the great Early Pregnancy Affliction of ’09 – but I felt guilty for only going to God when I was in pain/need. I’m not sure what I am getting at here but the power of prayer is a mysterious thing and all I know is that today, I feel a lot better. Thank God. Literally.

Our three day weekend was nice/trying/fun. If it can be all three. I am trying to remember each night. On Friday, Ash played Magic so I am pretty sure my headachey, nauseous ass went to bed REALLY early. On Saturday, he took the Boy a bunch of places so that I could have some quiet/rest time because the tension headache was AWFUL. It was also aggravated by movement. Which is pretty difficult to avoid, you know? I did manage to pull myself from the slump long enough to make dinner, wherein I found out that Elliot still doesn’t like mashed potatoes. I know he’s only two and all but my mashes are the bomb, and I was kind of bothered that he didn’t gobble them up. Ash ran eight miles that night so I let him sleep in on Sunday, which actually worked well because Elliot and I got bagels and went to the park to sit and eat and then around 10, 10:30, we met our friends at the playground.

Yesterday we all felt kind of lazy, I think. I know we went grocery shopping and napped and went to the park, but Ash and I were feeling the strain of dealing with Elliot and his energy times 1000 all weekend. The boy just doesn’t stop. I know this is two and it’s to be expected but my god, it is tiring. Even though I feel all out of sorts being at work after the three day weekend, I am glad to have some time to myself – even if it is in the office – and time to recoup. I will be more effective at dealing with home life once I have a day at work. I never ever thought I would say that.

I exit with some random bullets and then I am going to do actual work. WORK!

  • I am craving avocados
  • I think my vacuum is going to die soon
  • FSU’s offense looked great; and we still suck
  • Three days until NFL!
  • Still nauseous every morning but it tapers off
  • It was 68 this morning; welcome, Fall.
  • Cheerios are much better than crackers for an upset stomach.

Tell me, what is your mind bulleting this fine day?


I recall an entry posted by Linda at All and Sundry wherein she spoke of heartburn being one of those first pregnancy symptoms she experienced, which was annoying in a rather minor way; the kind of thing that stays with you all day and reminds you it is there throughout your daily activities, just enough to get under your skin. With Elliot, I never really had heartburn but I do recall around weeks 8, 9, and 10, feeling nauseous – luckily – only in the morning. Well, welcome second pregnancy where I have heartburn, nausea and an upset stomach ALL DAMN DAY LONG. I am a walking commercial for Pepto Bismol, if in fact I could even take that. I think Tums are my only savior and as of yesterday at 3 PM, I deemed them ineffective.

So yes, I have felt BLAH for roughly 72 hours STRAIGHT now and it’s becoming tiresome. I know they say every pregnancy is different but come on. Cut me a little slack here, ok? I am debating whether or not to tell my class, since I have walked into the room a couple times and been less than ready to teach and I kind of want them to know that I’m, uh, going through a little something. I just fear this class will end up like my Spring ’07 section. From the get-go, we didn’t get along. For starters, they never spoke up in class and I resented them for it. So for about 12 weeks, I held it against them and continued to hate them instead of stepping up like a teacher and fixing the situation. I had a heart to heart with them late in the semester wherein I explained how I felt and then told them I was pregnant and suddenly, all was fixed. Maybe this time, I need to begin earlier.

They might not like me very much after today because I am not letting them make their own workshop groups. They proved on Wednesday that they are incapable of a.) counting to 3 and b.) talking about the assignment. So today, we play by my rules. I think I have them all separated into diverse clusters so that no two cheerleaders or jocks are in the same group. They obviously cannot branch out or concentrate when with members of their own species. Sigh.

Though my stomach is feeling OK right now, I worry it could flare up any second. I dream of food but when I come in contact with it, ::puke::. That’s how I feel, at least. I’m telling you, this is no fun at all. But what am I complaining about? This is what I longed for, right? Oh to be the mother of two precious children…


After I teach, I’m leaving work to begin my three day weekend. I hope you all enjoy yours, if you get Monday off. Remember not to labor… much.