I think I have some more things to do but for now, this is where I will begin. It is difficult when the weather is as it is: gray, dark, wet and cold. Our high is only 56, it’s 55 now. Yesterday was my recovery day, my day to fall asleep at 9 PM, once the movie we were watching got started and the lights were low, blankets on me on the couch. I took a leave of absence from any serious blog-writing, I didn’t accomplish much at work. I needed to recover from taking care of the sick ones in my house; the laundry, the dog who puked in his crate, the endless piles of dirt and random pine needles on the floor, the glass Ash dropped in the bathroom, and the bits and pieces of our lives that get strewn about the house and bring about this tiny bit of anxiety.
I was walking back out to the car with my bag and water bottle, after having already strapped Elliot into his seat, and I suddenly felt very grown up and capable. As if all along, I was not. I single-handedly got the boy up, fed, dogs out and fed, dressed, lunches packed, put Ash’s phone by his bed so that when he awoke, he could call in sick to work. Sure, these may seem like mundane, average things but I think about other people I know and wonder how they get it all done. Some seem so… incapable and yet, are these activities really that difficult? This feeling, I find, is difficult to put into words. I think I am getting the hang of this parenthood thing, this adulthood thing. At almost 30, I sure as hell should.
With that said, I am going to step away from the internet for a second. For an hour, or two, and get things in my office done. Filing, organizing, decluttering. That’s a good palce to begin. A clean desk always helps my mind stay focused. How do you stay focused?