Of penises, rampaging creatures, and baby teeth


I’m pretty sure I am – in some form – still recovering from Friday night. As previously mentioned, I had been warding off a cold for a few days but when it came time to meet friends for a bachelorette party, I couldn’t bring myself to opt out. I would have felt extremely guilty. So, Ash dropped me off at Red Lobster around 7, where I waited for about 15 minutes alone and for about 45 minutes with the rest of our group before being seated. Dinner was good, since we never eat at the Dead Lobster, as Ash calls it. By about 10, we walked out to the lot where we were surprising the bride-to-be with a limo. (You see, two of the husbands of the girls involved are part time drivers) She was shocked and amazed of course.  Tiffanie and Courtney, who arranged the whole thing, had gotten blow up penises and penis straws for the limo. It was a cock-fest in a different sense of the term;Heh heh. So, the nine of us stopped by one of their houses to procure Jell-O shots, then to the liquor store. By this time, I had already had: one Mai Tai, one glass of wine. I then imbibed four Jell-O shots before going to Paradise, which is an inconspicuous restaurant by day but a kicking dance spot by night.

It had been a long time since I had been in any sort of dance club, and this place is not exactly collegiate. So of course, we had some creepy older people in the mix. But it was a good time. I had about half a Long Island Ice Tea (but it tasted like ass) and then I knocked back two Buttery Nipples, which were oh-so tasty. After much drunken dancing – which I normally do NOT do – we finally got home around 2 and I was exhausted. It was when I was taking off my smoky clothes that I realized how run-down I felt, how tired and sick.  I was thankful, though, that Ash was willing to stay home all evening with Elliot so I could go out and do something for myself for once.

Saturday morning, 6 AM. Feeling like battered crap. Elliot was awake and fussy so I took him into the guest room and nursed him until he fell asleep. I think we awoke around 9. I’m a bit hazy on the details but I think I got up and fed the dogs, then had a piece of toast and a couple Aleve.  Around 10 or 10:30, Elliot was fussing again so it was back to the guest room (all so I didn’t wake Ash) and more nursing and sleeping. In fact, I didn’t wake up until my mother got in from Orlando around 1 PM. I felt awful having not really cleaned up before her arrival; hell, I was still in pajamas and my armband from Paradise was still around my wrist. Lesson learned: when you become a parent, it’s difficult to behave in a manner prior to having children without passing out from sheer exhaustion.

The four of us went to dinner that evening and then, out of the kindness of her great big heart, my mother watched Elliot while Ash and I met some friends to watch Cloverfield. I was actually really excited to see it because I like big monster movies. I’m not keen on horrors or even natural disaster flicks, but gimme big rampaging creatures any day. I liked it but the Blair Witch style handi-cam crap made me completely nauseous. One of our friends up and left, got a refund and waited for us in the mall, it made her so sick. I stuck it out because I was too into the story. There’s actually a lot of backstory to this movie but you have to look elsewhere on the net. Either way, I recommend it.

So today, Ash and I are both sick and Elliot is just in the throes of teething, or so I think. He’s drooling like a Saint Bernard, grabbing at his ears, and not sleeping longer than 3 hours at a time. He’s not starving when he awakes but he likes to have something in his mouth. I always like to say that he doesn’t always want to eat but he likes to sit at the bar. We could “look like” we’re nursing all night but I guarantee he’s not sucking. I don’t see any teeth yet but perhaps they’re moving down or up through his gums. What a weird, annoying sensation that must be for him. I feel kind of bad for the little guy but even that is difficult when I have gotten maybe 2-3 hours of sleep in between outbursts of rage. Of course, he isn’t always like that. In fact, yesterday he was a complete angel while my mom and I drove out to Bradley’s and also shopped a bit at the mall. I was sort of sad to see her go because it’s always nice to have someone else helping with the baby. It was nice to shop and have coffee in the mornings. (I only ever make it in my French Press when she comes).

So all in all, I had a good, long weekend and I am slightly depressed about being back at work. My office is a mess and I have a ton of upkeep type activities to be doing. Ugh. But you, what about you? Did you wear a veil lined with little rubber penises or dance to “Get Low” with a gay guy giving you his best Jazz hands? Inquiring minds want to know!

One thought on “Of penises, rampaging creatures, and baby teeth

  1. I did not dance w/ a gay guy this weekend but I did see Cloverfield and to be honest, had no problem w/ the camera work. If you think about it, though, a lot of movies do that nowadays–pick any decent action flick and they’re gonna have the shaky camera work.
    But I thoroughly enjoyed the film, so much so that I’d go see it again right now! :-)

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