Binkies, mirrors, underrated movie

So, I refuse to call it anything but it’s technical term – the pacifier – but they do work at night when he’s being particularly cranky. He doesn’t quite have the whole suck to keep it n your mouth yourself concept down just yet. We mostly have to hold it there until he fall asleep. I wish we hadn’t resorted to it because there’s nothing worse than, say, a four year old with a stupid “paci” in his mouth but we will break Elliot of any habits that may for long before preschool.

Secondly, he finally saw himself in the mirror this morning. His papasan has this little convex mirror and for the entire duration of my shower (AND I had to wash my hair) he stared at himself, saying little things here and there. In fact, right now he’s laughing at himself in the mirror. I laugh when I see you too, buddy.

** Possible movie spoilers ahead**

I keep catching both Cars and Mr. and Mrs. Smith on TV. I think both are fairly good in their own right but somewhat unappreciated.  I know Cars did well as a kids’ movie but the story is more for adults; the story of a small Route 66 town where good wholesome people live, now bypassed by the interstate. Hot shot guy comes in and realizes the good things in life, how to slow down. I really think it’s a great movie, regardless if the lack of actual people.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith is simply a funny story. To me. It’s far-fetched: that two married people could work for opposing companies in which everyone’s an assassin. But it’s sort of endearing the way the characters interact. Priceless moment: once they team up and Brad’s singing Air Supply in the minivan. Too funny.

Anyway, today’s the last day of NaBloPoMo so I may not blog as often. When I go back to work, it will be infinitely easier to keep up with both my blogging and my online class. For now, I’m going to enjoy my last month home with little Elliot.

Elliot’s three month letter

He’s officially 3 months today, since he was born on the 29th. Forgive the roughness; I just sort of rambled:

  Dear Elliot,

            On the Wednesday that we took your first long car trip (down to your grandparents’ for Thanksgiving), you turned 12 weeks old. Initial thoughts: wow, I’ve been off work that long, wow you used to be this little alien looking thing with a head full of hair and shifty eyes, wow I can’t believe how far you’ve come!

            I realized on the day you turned eight weeks that something had changed. Your eyes opened wider, you suddenly understood a little more about this world you now live in. I think you saw your mommy and daddy too – as if for the very first time. Sometime right after that, we got down a really good nighttime routine. Whereas you used to sleep almost all day long, wake up long enough to feed, and then a few hours at night before we could get you down by 12 or 2, now you take your last feeding sometime between 11 and 12 and will sleep well into the four o’clock hour. I am grateful for this but sometimes, when I wake up around three, I go in to your room and lightly lay my palm on your chest, just to make sure.

            Between eight and twelve weeks, you became a real little person: making more noises such as “a-goo” (complete with a little bit of gurgle), a gurgly little hey-ah, and lots of coos. When you sneeze, often three or five times in a row, you always say, “aye” afterwards, as if those were a work out! You make the most noises when I am changing you. As I remove the diaper and your clothes, you get this big open mouth smile on your face and coo at me. I think you like to be naked.

            You are content in your swing or your vibrating chair for small bits of time. You entertain yourself and give mommy some time to do laundry or sweep. I love walking by you in the living room and seeing your face, your brain obviously filling itself full of the sights and sounds around you.

            You found your frown and pouty face and I sometimes feel like crying with you when your little bottom lip juts out and I can feel your pain. You are fussiest at night but between my walking you around the house (I think you are never happy unless moving) , and your daddy shaking you in his lap with the pacifier in your mouth, we get you to find contentedness. We each use different methods but always find the same end.

            Your daddy was the first one to prompt you to stand, which you absolutely love. You shriek and flail your little arms about, straightening your back and tilting your head down, for balance. Daddy says, “Be the man!” and you flail some more and push as hard as you can with those legs. I think you might be one of those babies who skips crawling and goes straight to standing and then walking.

            I sit on the couch with my feet on the table and rest you on my thighs. We play a game where I make raspberries and silly faces that prompt you to smile and laugh. I could do this all day long, just to see the unending happiness on your face.

            You are infinitely more rewarding than I could ever imagine. Every day I see more and more things develop behind those steel blue eyes and I have this immense feeling of joy and pride when I realize that you can be anything you want. And that you are my son. I can’t even begin to express how much love I have for you – a love I never knew I could feel. I know too that with each passing day, month, and year, we will grow together as a family and I will experience new ways that we love each other. I am so happy we have you in our lives; I can’t even imagine our home without you.


    Your mom

Awww crap

I forgot to blog last night; I screwed up. How disappointing. But I have good reasons. A.) Feeling crappy over going back to work (sure, it’s in a month but time is ticking), b.) my grandma is in the hospital, c.) Ash said something about cleaning that set me off so I went into the bathroom and began scouring, scouring like I was… Cinderella. And then I had my little breakdown and all was well. But by then, it was 11:30 and I fell fast asleep upon my pillow and nary a thought of blogging crossed my mind.

Duly noted

  • Every time Elliot sneezes, he finishes with an “aye”
  • I dropped the paper shredder on my big toe and it hurts like a mother
  • I seriously thought it was already December
  • I think I want to buy a laptop; I never get any work done at home
  • Looks like it’s going to be colder next week
  • Elliot will be officially three months old on Thursday
  • I’m going to make E’s salsa recipe on Sunday
  • I’m going to go eat some fudge (and gain more pounds)

Back to the grind

Yesterday, I came home to a yard covered in leaves and pine needles, which had obviously been rained on. In essence, my yard looks like a disaster area. This kind of depresses me but I haven’t been able to muster the motivation to actually do something about it. Mainly, I unpacked and sorted laundry. I did some grocery shopping but I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to eat – after the three days of unabashed gluttony – so I ended up with milk, taco seasoning, yogurt and a box of cereal.

Today, I was wide awake and rested when Elliot woke for his 4:45 feeding. But I couldn’t see any reason to go ahead and get up so I went back to sleep until about 7:45 when I did get up and started putting away the Fall decorations. Then, I pulled out the Christmas boxes. Up went the Department 56 village, and next, the tree. This all involved a good deal of cleaning and rearranging and calming a rather fussy baby all the while. He was held so much and shuffled about over the holiday that getting back to our normal routine has been a bit difficult. I am thankful for the five minutes he’s giving me right now to actually sit (this kid has to be moving at all times, I swear) and think about something with a clear mind. He pretty much occupies my… everything.

In three weeks, we head back down to my parents’ house for a Christmas. Since Ash’s father and brother are coming the following week, it was the only time we’d be able to see them. I’m fearful of how quickly the next few weeks are going to pass. Before I know it, I am going to be back blogging in front of my office computer and thinking about how Elliot’s in daycare and how hard is all that going to be? Pumping milk all day, finding extra money for the daycare, still getting up to feed him at night but then having to go to work all day, trying to spend all free time with him to make up for the eight hours we’re apart… How does anyone do this without having a total breakdown? I just have to keep telling myself to be strong. But I’m really just scared.

Holiday Recap

I don’t know why but I was ridiculously tired, even on vacation. Not tired like when I was pregnant but a general sort of sleepiness. And it was NOT all the turkey as I really didn’t eat that much. So here’s a brief sort of rundown of the trip:

I saw a butterfly :


Mom made a turkey:


We took some family photos:


I went to Ikea:


And there was, of course, the obligatory obscene amount of food for which I feel guilty for ingesting. Elliot was quite behaved for a 3 month old baby in a car and passed to and fro amongst the family. However, now that he’s home, he’s being pretty finnicky.

Fall appeared to have come and gone while we were away; my yard is a freaking mess and it’s all cold and overcast. Although the rest of the week calls for warmer temps. But you know, it’s still good to be home. How was everyone’s holiday?


I went to Orlando’s brand new Ikea today. Pics when I get back home tomorrow – should be around noon but will blog later.

*This post just to keep up with NaBloPoMo.

That about sums it up for me

Wednesday: Wait! We cannot break bread with you. You have taken the land which is rightfully ours. Years from now my people will be forced to live in mobile homes on reservations. Your people will wear cardigans, and drink highballs. We will sell our bracelets by the road sides, and you will play golf, and eat hot hors d’oeuvres. My people will have pain and degradation. Your people will have stick shifts. The gods of my tribe have spoken. They said do not trust the Pilgrims, especially Sarah Miller.

Amanda: Gary, she’s changing the lines.

Wednesday: And for all of these reasons I have decided to scalp you and burn your village to the ground.