Anyone have a Tauntaun?

Vague reference to Empire Strikes Back. It’s still 65 in here, the register is blowing at 60, and the heat on the entire campus is down for servicing. So, if I had a Tauntaun, I could cut him open and survive these subzero temperatures! But then I’d be covered in guts. Ew. Yes, I am a dork, in case you were wondering.

Been alternating sitting at my desk looking at pictures over here and reading this outside on the warm steps, except I have the hardcover 1953 version yellowing pages and all. It’s really short for a novel – just 144 pages – but it reads well and the details are amazing. I look forward to lunch, when I shall go home for a sandwich and come back with some sort of blanket so the afternoon will at least be bearable. I may even ask to take off early because I feel as if this is torturous to have to sit in such frigidity.

Anyway, how’s your Monday going?

Weekly topic a la English Dept. peeps

As mentioned before, I’m in a loop now where the involved bloggers have a weekly topic. This was “Things you find funny that make you a “bad” person”. Well, it was really hard for me to come up with one – because I don’t usually laugh at peoples’ shortcomings – but I’ll talk about the only thing that came to mind:

Roller shoes. Or whatever their official name is. Every time I see a kid rolling around – more like skidding – on these things, in the grocery store, in the mall, I want to see them fall more than anything. Sure, when we were kids, half the toys we were given had potential for injury. But these things could not only make the kid fall on his ass or break his crazy neck, but he could run right into someone else. Imagine some 12 year old plowing into an 87 year old geriatric patient at the Walgreens. Lawsuit! But anyway, my point is this:

When we held our garage sale, a couple of the neighbourhood kids – who must be about 12-14 – came by to look at our extensive collection of old books. One kid was wearing said roller shoes and tipping himself back on his heels while they chatted. Suddenly, his heels slipped out from under him and he fell backwards. In one way, I laughed at victory. Finally! Someone has succombed to the inane and dangerous nature of such a stupid invention. Then I laughed because his friends laughed at him and called him a dumbass. I can’t remember if I laughed out loud; if I did, then this would make me the horrible person that fits into this week’s topic.

Weekend recap to follow. I need to get my daily news fix first.

Procrastination rehabilitation

I am really really not wanting to calculate these finals grades for my class. This semester jaded me because I really didn’t connect to these kids. They all did such mediocre work that I got sort of lackadaisical about the whole thing. But I have to get these grades in today because I seriously doubt I’ll do it this weekend and if I wait until next week, the system will – inevitably – be down due to last minute people doing the same thing.

I’m not going to tell Ash but I really don’t want to go to Jacksonville tomorrow. I want to do what we’re doing there – watching the NFL draft with Drew – but I don’t feel like traveling. At all. Not one bit. Especially if Ash drinks while we’re there because I will be the designated for the trip home. Ugh. At the same time, I need to solidify someone to come over and feed the dogs. Normally we can leave them but this will interfere with a mealtime. Sigh. At least on Sunday our social commitments are in town: we’re going to lunch with a guy Ash works with, the guy who did the filmography for our wedding.

I’m about to run to the Arts and Sciences building and I apologize for this email being god-awful boring but hey, you gotta be faithful to your blog, you know?

Gear lust

It’s not often these days that I lust after something to buy. But this, oh this I want.

This would solve a lot of problems with the dogs accidentally knocking charging cells phone or ipods out of the wall as they rough house endlessly and in corners I thought were safe. Amazing invention!

I also want an apple fritter.

Om baby

I think I am sore due to yoga, since I failed to attend the prenatal class the last two weeks. But yesterday, I finally got my ass in gear and went. In fact, I was really glad that I did. Even though at first I found it kind of cheesy that during some of the more meditative parts, the woman instructed us to “send your baby love, tell yourself what a good mother you already are for taking time out of your day to practice yoga…”, I still quite enjoyed the calmness of it all, the stretching, the whole zen result. I was in a fabulous mood the rest of the night.

When I got home, our friend, Drew, was already at the house, for we had plans to have dinner while he was briefly in town. We went to Smokey Bones, even though I don’t much care for that place. But we had a good time; talked about money and making it, in great quantities, and how not even that much money can buy you happiness. Although, I think he still believes it can, if you have enough. Ash and I think that when you have that much, you stop worrying about all the problems money can solve and then you have to focus on the rest, what’s inside you that only you can deal with. People like Bill Gates have only those sorts of problems, I imagine.

I took a 19 week belly picture, because I finally look pregnant, and then I put it in an email. However, I failed to attach it to said email so you’re just going to have to wait.

I decided to eat oatmeal at home today instead of picking up something on the way in. However, that was 2 hours ago and my belly is rumbly! I just postponed the inevitable – I didn’t save any money in the long run.

Anyway, I MUST calculate my students’ final grades today. It won’t take long but I have put it off long enough.

The mother of all time wasters

Holy snack foods, Batman. You MUST go here and get your snack food love on. This is a sick site if, like me, you get hungry at work and think about food non-stop. I’d like to attribute my problem with this solely to pregnancy but when I think long and hard about it, I was like this before baby. So go, check out the tasty world of snickety snack food.

This isn’t a guilt trip, I promise

It’s just that now, with a variety of readers (and I know you’re out there) I thought I’d get more comments on my fiction down there. I guess I just really miss workshop. Oh well. I can move forward and see what happens. I think I have some ideas.

Haven’t done a whole lot today, even though I could be grading my students’ final stuff, making new signs for around the department, posting the summer schedule, etc. I am thinking of taking a walk soon because sitting on my fat pregnant ass is so not good for circulation. And you know what happens if I let my circulation get bad? Hemorrhoids!And I know you have no interest in hearing about those. I have no interest in ever experiencing them.

Having recently linked to Susie (see: blogroll) which then put me in contact with a bunch of people in the dept., I might partake in their weekly topic. Look for a post soon on “Things that make you a horrible person for finding funny.” I have to really think about it though. I know there’s potential there. I’m off to walk and post a sign. Wee.

Feedback requested, please

I haven’t written – anything – since I finished my thesis. I defended March of ’06. Finally today, I have begun something. Please tell me what you think! (And bear through the passive voice and tense shifts – I know they’re there.)

“The azalea is blooming.” She stated, brushing a hand against the grainy wood of decking rail, the tiny granules of pollen and leaf falling away to the ground below.
    “It’s jasmine. And it makes me sneeze.”
    “Either way.” She set down her glass of pinot noir and looked out over the yard, grass

     Beyond the Confederate jasmine lazily sits an old shed, half on their property and half across the cut-off line. The other side is not owned by anyone, she has been told, but who then, owns this hideous shed? Who then knows the padlock combination, which is why, after four years of living at 1543 Halcyon way, Constance and Aurelio have yet to shine sunlight on the inside four walls of the wooden structure. Sure, they could easily have taken a sledgehammer to it, bashed the small metal lock with all their might. Or better still, a fireman’s axe straight to the door, slicing through time-worn white wood. Yet, whether out of laziness or lack of motivation, it remains untouched.


            “That English cheese… the kind with cranberries in it.” Constance exhaled in one long sort of labored breath.

            “What about it?”

            “It would be good with this wine. But I think then I’d be even hotter. Cheese is heavy.”

            Indeed, the long hot days of the Panhandle summers had set in and even though the small house had window units in each main room, it still felt cooler in the shade of the Sweet Gum trees. Aurelio sipped sweet tea, as he so often did, no lemon and extra ice, for tea doesn’t cool the same as water. He wore a black tank and knee length khaki shorts, faded and battered from days in the garden, meticulously weeding around the geraniums and marigolds, the orange mint and the witch hazel that Constance insisted upon planting. Tirelessly, he gets dirt under his nails and grass stains on his clothes, because despite what others may think – when she ignores him at parties, when she nags him for being sort of lazy at times – he is still entirely devoted and helplessly in love.

We all make dumb mistakes sometimes

You know when you hear about someone doing something that is so incredibly stupid and you think, “Wow, how could that person let that happen? How dumb!”? Somehow that stuff always comes back around to you and you have to think to yourself how you could get yourself into such a stupid situation. This is leading to something I did that is minor but very absent-minded and well, stupid.

Last night, Ash and I continued our weekend home-repair momentum and replaced all the light switches in the house. We installed this type: (because they make our house look newer.







 This took us a good portion of the time from 8:45 until 11:30. I was designated flashlight holder and breaker flipper so by the end, my back was killing me. For relief, I lay in bed with the heating pad on, determined not to fall asleep and to only keep the heat on my lower back for the recommended 15 minutes. Somehow, I awoke at 12:45, having left the stupid thing baking my back for well over an hour. This also somehow caused a small burn on my back. OW. What a dumbass thing to do! Not healthy, not safe and just plain idiotic. Oh well, in the words of Joe Public, ‘You’ve got to live and learn.’

Work today seems promising. That is, I have a lot of little things I can do that will make me feel both productive and happy. That is a good day of work, people. I’m also going to be faxing back a quote we’ve accepted to have our roof redone. Oh yes, the joys of home ownership. Our home loan went through so we can start racking up the debt. Ok ok, we wouldn’t have done it if we thought it was going to be too much to handle.

Enough about money and home repair!

I’m craving lots of food lately. The baby wants everything! He (or she) is supposed to be a little over 6 inches now. We can’t really call it the bean anymore, can we?  Less than 2 weeks and we find out the gender! Woot.

And on that note, I leave you now to condense this myriad of yellow stickies onto one sheet of information.

Let’s talk cat crap

As I drove  out of the neighbourhood this morning, I saw a cat, sitting on a corner under some shrubs, watching. And I was thinking that whenever I see a dog lounging in a yard, you can usually tell that he’s really just enjoying his time outside, not really watching people but panting and staring off into the clouds. Whenever you see a cat, it has its eyes trained on something, carefully watching for movement, plotting if you will. Cats have that sort of demeanor about them like they’re planning your demise. Also, neighbourhood cats shit in my yard and make me very very angry so you know, this observation could be way out of context, er, far from the truth. I don’t know everything; I don’t and will never own a cat.

Anyway, sorry if I pissed off any cat people. I’m sure plenty of people have nice cat pets. Yard wrecker cats probably don’t make anyone happy. Except maybe my fat neighbours who perhaps delight in knowing that whatever slop they’re feeding those mangy things is being reintroduced onto everyone’s lawns.

Enough about cats and their excrement already! Geez, what a way to start Monday, huh? Nice and quiet in the English department. It’s finals week so half the people won’t be around at all and the other half will mosey in around mid-day to calculate and enter grades. I’m sure some people will be around these next few weeks; if nothing other than to use the computer lab. Some people don’t have internet at home. I don’t know how they do it!

My weekend was pretty good and I must say, I’m feeling pretty decent about things. I’m starting to show more and in a pregnant woman’s eye, that’s a good thing. You worry at first; “Am I gaining enough weight? Is it even in there? Is it growing?” The doctor has not once said anything about my weight so I am to assume it’s being gained as it should. I’d sort of like that reassurance though. I know where I’d get that kind of care: one of those weird midwife, bath birthing places. But then you don’t get modern technology and you know, when I think of labor, I just think hospital. Maybe I’m too connected to the real world here but I want to know I have trained professionals with drugs. Less than two weeks and we find out the gender. Think ‘blue’, people. Think ‘penis’. :)

Anyway, I’m going to read some more news and get my ass in gear here. Meetings most of the morning too. Fun!