Comments on movies you may/may not have seen

Happy Monday, readers! How is everyone? For some reason, I am quite awake. Actually, I can speculate as to why: I rested hardcore this weekend. I napped a lot and didn’t do anything too strenuous. Ash and I took the dogs on our roughly two mile walk each day but still, nothing crazy. I passed up hanging out with some people even, just because I felt like hanging close to the house. It was a much needed reprieve from the world.

Anyway, during this peaceful weekend, I managed to watch 4 movies that I had wanted to see. Two I caught on cable and two we rented. I will go in chronological order. On Friday evening, Ash fell asleep so I went out to the living room while the dogs contentedly chewed on their rawhides. Stars was playing Duece Bigelow: European Gigolo and I only missed the opening credits. Backstory: I actually liked the first installment of this movie. It had a decent plot and ended up having some sort of moral ground to it as well. Duece didn’t just try to please women sexually but complimented them and made them feel loved. I know it was cheesy and sort of vulgar, but still, it had a redeeming quality. As for this second movie, well, I think some writer sat down and came up with every single euphamism for the penis that he could in reference to it being the female prostitute counterpart. (I.E. Shenis, Mangina.) These are funny to an extent but good lord did they include one in every line, or was it just me? The movie was silly, as was the first, but much weaker in story and just not as well put together. I still watched the entire thing but came away feeling empty. So, I give this one 2 stars, if only for some outlandish comedy and some tasty Hot Egyptian Guy (Oded Fehr).

The next movie we watched was Clerks II. It started off ok, much like the first one. I recognize the cult quality of this Kevin Smith production but truthfully, I was never into this one as much as, say, Dogma. Before I fell asleep for about 20 minutes, I was most impressed with the character of Elias, the goody-goody Christian boy in love with Transformers. Whomever that actor is, he did a really good job with his character. Like I said, I fell asleep, just in time for the infamous “donkey show”, but I hear tell I didn’t miss much. I thought the movie ended kind of hokey: of course he does what’s in his heart and stays in Jersey, doesn’t marry the girl who makes decisions for him, etc. Kevin Smith, you’ve done better and I wish you luck with the weight loss. But please don’t make another Clerks. I give it 1.5 stars.

Sunday afternoon, after a pretty lazy start to the day, we sat down to watch Lucky Number Slevin. As I recall, we had wanted to see this in the theater but it wasn’t there for very long. This worried me; that kind of movie typically implies ultimate failure. But rest assured, this movie was not a failure. Before watching it, Ash was speculating as to the conditions I need to fall asleep during a movie. They are: a.) Being on the couch b.) having a blanket c.) having the dogs on my lap and d.) having Ash there. I didn’t fall asleep once during this movie because it was plot driven, had interesting, compelling characters, and some violence. You are introduced to a number of characters and backstory but you don’t know what the hell’s going on. You have this guy – Josh Hartnett’s char – who is mistaken for Nick Fisher, whoever that is. He is accosted by some thugs and taken to the boss, well, two bosses. Both the big boss of the black crime family and the boss of the Jewish crime family say he owes them money. One of the bosses wants him to kill his enemy’s son, since his son was killed earlier in the week. So you have this guy roped into all kinds of illegal situations and he seems… ok with it. I won’t ruin this movie for you but I highly recommend seeing it. If for nothing else than the plot twists and turns and you are constantly guessing but may not get it until the end. I was very impressed with all the actors and the intricate details. I even go so far as to saying 4 stars. (My ratings are based on a 5 star scale).

The last movie I watched will only get a half review, since I fell in and out of a light nap during its entirety. I was compelled to watch Layer Cake for two reasons: a.) My friend, Matt, said it was pretty good and b.) Daniel Craig is a tasty piece of meat. This is true. So I’m watching and I’m listening but those British movies sometimes make me have to listen too hard and I get easily bored. I know that sounds stupid and lazy but there were a lot of cockney accents going on. It was a decent movie though, for what I saw. Daniel plays a drug dealer trying to get out of the game except for one last job that is asked of him. I think he played it well and he definitely was different from Bond, which was one reason I wanted to see it: does he have layers (ha ha ha). So I won’t give this one a rating until I see it all the way through but I think it’s a winner.

So there you have it, folks. More to come layer, I mean later.