Why is my stomach eating itself?

Could it be that I had only a salad for dinner around 9 and then nothing else? Yes, this could be my problem. I am craving bad things, fatty things, things that will make the rumbling emptiness of my belly calm itself.

I am in a great mood today. I see the world in a new light; I will reward myself for small victories instead of humbling myself and relying on others for approval and thanks. Does this make sense? I do a lot and then get frustrated when I am not recognized. But why should I be? If I know that I have succeeded, then that should be enough. We’ve decided that it all stems from my childhood – OF COURSE – but mainly from my father never saying much of anything when I would tell him something I accomplished. Yet when I failed or did something wrong, I got attention. Negative attention but still. My mother was supportive but for some reason, I held my father’s opinion higher. Perhaps because he DID ignore my achievements. I don’t know. I do know that I have hit the pivot point and can move forward, become a better person…

…one who is going to get a breakfast sandwich. :)

I have a confession to make

So I am really into those 2 new VH1 reality shows: I Love New York and The White Rapper Show. I don’t normally watch these types of shows or tv much at all lately but I got totally sucked in.

I am very hooked on I Love NY because all these guys are total morons (with the exception of one of the dudes who got booted last night) and they are all so shallow, it amazes me. They also make huge fools out of themselves and this is highly entertaining. My vote is for Onix, if you’re watching. But Chance and Tango will make it nearly to the end.

On The White Rapper Show, I am endlessly amused by John Brown. His stupid sayings – that he says over and over and over – are just too funny. My husband and I will randomly say to each other, “Ghetto Revival baby.” or “Hallelujah holla back”. That guys cracks me up. In the en, I think it might come down to him or Jus Rhyme, but we’ll see. There’s quite a few now who are good at rapping.

Anyway, I have more W2 garbage to work on and some other school/work related tasks to do now.

Don’t do that here, buddy

I had a kid almost cry in class today. On the first workshop day, I become evil teacher. Why is this, you ask? Well, since day one I have been pumping them up for the workshop, telling them you have to bring 2 copies, etc. I don’t tell them I will send them home if they don’t bring it but I do tell them participation is integral and to be prepared. Well, coming to workshop without a paper is ill preparedness and pretty much eliminates their ability to participate. SO, I sent 3 kids home. I know I know, it sounds harsh but I am a LOT easier than most professors they’ll have as college goes on so you know, it’s time to take some responsibility. But from now on they think I’m evil. It’s ok, I’m used to it.

It’s almost ten so I really ought to be working and actually getting shit done.  I have to find all the addresses of people who worked here but no longer do. Which means that I’ll have about half and then half will be MIA and I’ll struggle and stress and hate myself until all are found. Screw it, I can do this, right?

I want hot chocolate. The hot dog man next door has some so I might do it. It’s just that kinda day. Happy Tuesday.

Bitch and moan

I am feeling pretty anti-social today. Which is not good, since I have to deal with people all day in my job. I don’t feel like doing any work either; I have a statement of purpose to write, a desk to clean up, and about a million things to file and yet, I am finding new ways to waste time. It’s still dark and rainy out, which makes me feel even cruddier.

I think after my eye appointment I will go home for the dogss then head back out to the mall. I might get a new oil from Body Shop to burn. What scents fit right now? I mean, when there’s a season, you buy “autumn wreath” or “holiday eve” or something named appropriately. But it doesn’t seem like winter nor spring. Besides, I’m in the kind of mood where something inside says that buying something will make me happy. Even though I know it will not. I also think I might get Chinese for dinner, since I never eat it. And Ash will be gone so he won’t complain about how it stinks up the whole house.

I hate spending an entire entry complaining but it just feels right. With each person that comes into my office (like Peter just did) I find new interesting ways to seem interested and happy. And yet, I really wish I could just shut the door, turn off the lights, and listen to calming music.

I’m not in the mood for it now but remind me to post an entry about weddings; I have 3 to go to this year. I am off to play more mindless net games and waste more time. At 2, I get to pick up the W2s for the department. Lucky me.

Morning entry – take two

Let’s try to recreate what I so craftily put together before. Ok, here goes nothing – (deep breath and go!)

I had one terrible dream last night. I’m not kidding; it completely freaked me out. These possessed people kept coming in and out of my office and one was a young boy in what looked like the shirt of one of the chipmunks – you know, Alvin, Simon, Theodore – and he kept trying to get me to look into his eyes, which kept getting bigger, more gaping and black. I remember jabbing my fingers into his huge eyes, as if trying to remove the evil that lie within the cavernous spaces and eventually, I ripped off his eye sockets as well as his nose. UGH.There was a lot more violence and gore but I can only render vague images now. Which is good because I sleep alone tonight.

Ash leaves around lunchtime for a conference in Daytona. I really don’t like when he travels but he doesn’t have to do it all that often. The days will probably go by pretty quickly: I have an eye appointment this evening and then I will either make soup or pick up Japanese, on Tuesday evening I am meeting a friend for coffee and on Wednesday, I plan on climbing. Ash will be home that night.

In totally unrelated news, I am very glad to see the Colts going to the Superbowl. I really enjoy seeing well-coached, talented, deserving teams beat less deserving teams. With that said, I will probably now proceed to piss some people off, and I don’t care. I hate the Patriots and I hate all the assholes in America who like them just because they win. They have some shitty-ass players on their team: Tom “I think I’m hot shit” Brady, Reche “I have the biggest boob-eyes in the world” Caldwell, and Kevin “Worst player in the NFL” Faulk. Not to mention cheaters like Vrabel and Bruschi. A couple weeks ago the cameraman caught Bruschi kicking the ball to get the first down before the chains were set. On tv people! They exposed ’em and you still cheer for them?? What made it even worse was when Troy “I played for the dumbass Cowboys” Aikman saw the footage he said that “they are a smart team.” There goes sportsmanship right out the window, America. I am super happy that the Colts finally made it to the Superbowl and I don’t even care who wins; I like both teams and I’m just reveling in the Patriots loss. What a way to start my week!

The dogs’ playdate was quite successful and I will upload pics later. For now, you can watch this video of them playing with a ball. Mine are in there somewhere but it’s hard to distinguish with all that black and white! Doggies.

Alright people, I am off to file and waste for time until lunch.

Well crud.

So that sucks – I had a great entry writte which included my terrible dream, musings onA sh’s business trip, and a long rant about the Colts (now, a rave about the Colts, rant about the patriots) and somehow I cannot click and save pics through Firefox anymore so it’s gone, all gone. Give it a bit and I’ll rewrite it. I’ll muster the patience to try again.

Disjointed end of week thoughts

This morning has been… busy. For a Friday anyway. I woke up feeling in a particularly good mood. Maybe because I was in such a shitty mood yesterday. I don’t know. I am looking forward to the weekend though. On Sunday the pups have a playdate with 8 other Bostons and it’s always a pretty fun time when we go to the one woman’s house. She has a huge yard and the dogs go absolutely nuts with each other. Since Iggy has been sick, the other two have kind of been kept down (not a lot of activity) as well. So this will be fun for them.

I’ve done a lot of work already; been working on that Fall schedule still and then on finding another teacher for a section in which the current teacher has to withdraw. Unfortunately, all this work has proven to make time pass slowly. Sigh. But it’s ok since it’s Fryday – and we’re going to Cypress for lunch.

I have a ton of filing to do; it’s beginning to pile up. I wish I had some Goldfish and then I would do the filing. :(

Possible movie spoilers in this one

Last night, Ash and I sat down to watch The Illusionist. For a long time now, people have been telling me that since I love The Prestige so much, that I will indeed love The Illusionist. I will admit, I went into the viewing in a somewhat biased manner. I thought, “How can Ed Norton (not one of my more favored actors) compare to the wondrous talent of Bale and Jackman that came out of their movie? But honestly, I also went into it thinking it would be comparable, if not a better film entirely.

Well, I was wrong. In fact, I am amazed I was able to stay awake. I typically do fall asleep watching movies. For starters, the writers totally banked on the creation of a childhood romance being the glue of the plot. Well, it was like trying to cement bricks with mashed potatoes. A.) The love story fell flat B.) Ed Norton in no way convinced me that he was in love with Sophie and C.) the entire movie was based on it and well, since I didn’t buy it, I was disappointed. And also, the “big twist” that should have shocked and amazed people failed to do so since the title “the ILLUIONist” basically made you realize that of course, she wasn’t dead, it was all a big ploy. But it didn’t make me feel the tension, the romance, the ups and downs of a suspenseful story.

Another gripe I had was the lack of music. Usually, we forget that there’s even music playing in the background of scenes but if we slow down a bit, we can hear it, there, making us feel a certain way. This movie had so much silence that I stopped caring about any sort of emotional contact with the characters. I will give you that Rufus Sewell and Paul Giamatti performed their characters well. They were… believable. But Ed Norton should stick to… something else. This was not his best role.

Furthermore, this movie asks you to suspend your disbelief during the entire (seemingly short) duration. I can do this fairly well. In fact, for The Prestige, they pulled off something impossible (human cloning basically) SO WELL, that even at the end of the movie, I felt like it could have been true. In The Illusionist, they didn’t address hardly any of his magic secrets and some of the stunts were so far-fetched that I felt like the writers just copped out because there was no explanation. I can’t buy a movie that doesn’t try to sell me, even if it is magic beans. I’ll buy them if you can convince me. I mean, hell, The Prestige sold me on Bowie as Tesla – what a feat!

So, all in all, those of you who liked the Illusionist, I am happy for you. But I was thoroughly disappointed in the end and come February 20th, I will purchase the Prestige dvd and watch with glee as a real movie about magic unfolds on my television screen.

the scriptor makes a list

  • Part of my bookfair order from November came, addressed to someone named “Karen Carlito”. I took the box to sell them and realized they were mine.
  • My bagel was just ok this morning; from a different place. I don’t fancy change
  • I successfully completed one Christmas thank you card this morning
  • Why is a raven like a writing desk?
  • I ate Outback for dinner last night and my god was it delicious
  • Ash’s brother is seriously entertaining the idea of moving to Tallahassee
  • He currently lives in smalltown, Ohio. (Not literally, people)
  • But wouldn’t “Smalltown” be a great name?
  • It was so windy this morning I thought my contacts were going to be permanently plastered to my eyes
  • I leave in one hour to take Iggy to get his stitches out. Yay!
  • I may go see my grandfather this weekend when my parents go. I really think I should before, well, you know
  • A post is coming soon about my weird but well-remembered dream
  • I wish this day would go by faster
  • I want a taco