I don’t post a lot of pictures of myself. Mostly because I spent the majority of my more self-aware years being self conscious of either my looks or my weight. Usually both. These days, I’m not so worried about my looks – I know I’ve fixed myself up a lot – and my weight is at a much healthier place than it used to be. I don’t claim to be vain in any aspect. And in some ways, I think it’s better that way. I’m not spending useless time worrying about myself or thinking I am something more than I am. So without further ado, I thought I’d post a pic from about three to four year ago and then one from this past Labor Day.
(I blanked out Ash’s face because it’s a bad pic. The 2nd one is dark but looks decent)
I think we all reinvent ourselves every now and then and I don’t regret who I was then. I just know that that person is now in the past and I learned what I could from her.
I just did a round of student conferences and I have one more at 2 this afternoon. So, about 4 hours until that and I need to a.) translate some French, b.) eat my lunch and c.) put together the book orders for Spring. But meanwhile, my stomach is churning and my head is swimming, and I think it’s mostly due to this antibiotic for the sinus infection. Why won’t I just heal?!? I’m so sick of being sick.
I was feeling a great entry on cars earlier; in terms of me and my connection to them. I get very attached to my vehicles. And even though my current car has a million and one issues that cause me to loathe the drive to school each morning and each afternoon, I am still quite fond of it. First off, I like its size and shape. It is pre-bubble butt cars so it’s boxy yet stylish. It is black so when well washed and waxed, looks very sleek. The leather seats always appealed to me and definitely saved me from the winter shock thing. I have a good CD player in there that I bought used for 50 bucks. The seats are comfortable and the air always blew pretty cold. (After the fix). It was like peddaling a bicycle until about 20 mph, when it really kicked in. My Infinity was a fun drive – a sporty little thing on turns and I think it suited me. But the time has come to move on – take the CD cases out, vacuum all the leaves from the floor mats, Windex the windows and clean out the pine needles. If all goes well, by week’s end, my little G20 will be in someone else’s hands.
And on a totally different reminiscent note: I heard from an old friend recently. I am very glad that he has come to terms with the world, come to live in the present instead of the past, which was always an issue of contention between us. Reconnecting to people from my past always makes my heart ache slightly. It’s like a good thing and a bad thing, all at once. It makes me want to relive my past yet move on to the future, if that makes any sense at all without being redundant.
There’s work to be done and papers to read so I think that’s what I’ll do.